What's in a Name?

11:00 AM -- Daniel Rubin of The Philadelphia Inquirer relates the trials and tribulations of one Dr. Herman I. Libshitz, who tried to sign on for Verizon's DSL service...

When it was time to enter their user name and create an e-mail address, Verizon wouldn't let them complete the job.

This is how the doctor remembers it:

"We called their help line, and got a wonderful young man in the Philippines who told us:

" 'We can't install it because your name has - in it...' "

That'd have to be "Lib," I guess.

The Libshitzes got the same answer from the supervisor, who suggested they try misspelling their last name...

A third supervisor, from a help line in Norfolk, Va., agreed as well, but said the only person who could help was in Tampa, and that man would have to call India to get them to change the computer code.

No one called him back...

Happily, the Power of the Press was able to turn the trick for Dr. Lib****z. With the Inquirer on the case, the good doctor was finally able to get his Verizon DSL. A happy ending? Well. This monkey used to have Verizon "service," so he's not prepared to go that far. As the doctor says:

"I don't know if you've ever tried to get to Verizon... You cannot get to them. They are insulated from things like this."

— Larry, Attack Monkey, Light Reading