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Sniff This

2:20 PM -- 9News.com ("Colorado's News Leader") brings us the latest news from the Nanny State:

    Adams School District 50 is defending its decision to punish a third grader for sniffing a Sharpie marker.

    Eight-year-old Eathan Harris was originally suspended from Harris Park Elementary School for three days. Principal Chris Benisch reduced the suspension to one day after complaints from Harris' parents.

    Harris used a black Sharpie marker to color a small area on the sleeve of his sweatshirt. A teacher sent him to the principal when she noticed him smelling the marker and his clothing.

    "It smelled good," Harris said. "They told me that's wrong."
Yes, Eathan, smelling things is bad. About time you learned that. Will save you from a life of crime and degradation.

    In his letter suspending the child, Benisch wrote that smelling the marker fumes could cause the boy to "become intoxicated."

    A toxicologist with the Rocky Mountain Poison Control Center says that claim is nearly impossible.

    Dr. Eric Lavonas says non-toxic markers like Sharpies, while pungent-smelling, cannot be used to get high...

    Despite the medical evidence, Benisch promised to draw an even clearer line on markers.

    "We've purged every permanent marker there is in this building," he said.
Courageous move, Mr. Beamish. But don't forget ditto sheets and crayolas™. My own gateway drug was Play-Doh™.

— Larry, Attack Monkey, Light Reading

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