TV's Modest Proposal

2:30 PM -- The San Francisco Chronicle Website reports that television has at last found its level:

    In an era of increasing niche programming on TV, women have the Oxygen network, men have Spike TV and some pets are even agog at Animal Planet.

    Now, infants can pull up a bouncy chair, grab a bottle and have round-the-clock access to the nation's first channel for babies, BabyFirstTV, featuring three-minute segments designed for babies as young as 6 months.

    The satellite channel, which premiered on Mother's Day, touts itself as a "learning experience" for babies and their parents with developmental benefits...
"Developmental benefits..." Ah, yes: Fat ass. Gnat-like attention span. Disoriented credulity. Insatiable acquisitiveness... Wait. Don't babies already have all those things?
    Kathy King, a Sacramento-area mother of two, signed up after coming across a free trial.

    "They were both mesmerized," the middle school science teacher said of her sons, 2-year-old Wyatt and 10-month-old Wesley.
Yes, stupify your infants. It's a good thing.

— Larry, Attack Monkey, Light Reading

sfwriter 12/5/2012 | 3:41:13 AM
re: TV's Modest Proposal Not only will TV stupify your children, it also kills pain, according to researchers. Children who were given shots reported less pain if they were watching TV than if their mothers were trying to comfort them. The implications for everyday TV use among children are pretty frightening.

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