TV's Modest Proposal

2:30 PM -- The San Francisco Chronicle Website reports that television has at last found its level:

    In an era of increasing niche programming on TV, women have the Oxygen network, men have Spike TV and some pets are even agog at Animal Planet.

    Now, infants can pull up a bouncy chair, grab a bottle and have round-the-clock access to the nation's first channel for babies, BabyFirstTV, featuring three-minute segments designed for babies as young as 6 months.

    The satellite channel, which premiered on Mother's Day, touts itself as a "learning experience" for babies and their parents with developmental benefits...
"Developmental benefits..." Ah, yes: Fat ass. Gnat-like attention span. Disoriented credulity. Insatiable acquisitiveness... Wait. Don't babies already have all those things?
    Kathy King, a Sacramento-area mother of two, signed up after coming across a free trial.

    "They were both mesmerized," the middle school science teacher said of her sons, 2-year-old Wyatt and 10-month-old Wesley.
Yes, stupify your infants. It's a good thing.

— Larry, Attack Monkey, Light Reading

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