11:45 AM -- True love does exist. All you need is an Internet connection and the ability to perform reverse psychology on a recovering serial dater, says the BBC:

Clive Worth, 57, from Pontyates near Llanelli, was removed from the books of one agency after complaints from other customers that he "lacked commitment".

But since February he has been seeing just one woman - Angela England, 61, from Llanddewi-Brefi in Ceredigion.

Aww! The fairytale continues:

"We soon got in the swing of chatting and I have to say what I like about Angela is she says yes to everything I say.

"What won me over was she said she did not mind if I still dated other women.

Nothing I like more than a submissive broad. Are you sure you met her online, or did you order her online? Hmm...

"I still get emails off other women - I don't want to upset them by telling them I've found somebody."

Oh, yes. Please do refrain. We have enough tragedy in the world what with the war and AIDS and everything. This could potentially push us all over the edge.

"This Valentine's Day I gave Angela her first Valentine's card at the age of 61 and at Easter she gave me my first Easter egg."

See if she'll sit on the egg and cluck like a chicken.

— Red Panda, I'll miss you, Clive, Light Reading