Finally: A Dog You Can Kick

NOON -- Reuters details another scientific breakthrough from those with too much time on their hands:

Researchers at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology in the United States plan to recruit Sony's "canine entertainment robot" Aibo into the obesity police.

The dog would be connected by radio to the bathroom scales, a pedometer and a personal organizer in which the owner would note his daily food intake, New Scientist magazine reported on Wednesday.

Asked "How am I?" the robot would either jump excitedly, play funky music and flash colored lights, or flop down and play a dirge, according to whether its owner has followed his or her diet.

That's nothin'. I got me a mechanical cat that tells me when to wipe my rosy bottom.

— Larry, Attack Monkey, Light Reading