11:00 AM -- The National Geographic alerts us to a new mental health threat, "parasitic worms that brainwash their victims":

Scientists say hairworms, which live inside grasshoppers, pump the insects with a cocktail of chemicals that makes them commit suicide by leaping into water. The parasites then swim away from their drowning hosts to continue their life cycle.

Well, if it works on crickets, it should work on lower life forms... like Senators.

— Larry, Attack Monkey, Light Reading