Cisco's Cure

2:00 PM -- From The Philter's Actin' Up file, here's a notice from Craigslist that Cisco Systems Inc. (Nasdaq: CSCO) is seeking some folks who are ready for their close-ups:

3 Actors needed for corporate training video. Client is Cisco Systems, and subject matter is healthcare technology.

2 Adults, mid twenties-mid thirties, must be fluent in English & Vietnamese.

1 Child, 8-12 years old, of Vietnamese decent, with non-speaking role.

Video to be shot in San Jose at end of March. Will be shot in the evening.

Adult Roles pay $450 for 6 hour shoot, child role pays $150. Send headshot & resume. Actors Only - this is a non-union job

I'm not sure what the plot is for this skit, but my stunted imagination leaps to a scenario where a young mother and father, desperate to cure their child's restless leg syndrome, enlist the help of Cisco Systems to provide a solution.

Cisco's reps show up to the family's abode in suburban Haiphong and, upon assessing the situation, they dutifully strap the kid to a CRS-1 core router. The kid actually finds the whole thing soothing because of the CRS-1's droning fans and radiant warmth. The child's restless leg suddenly falls asleep.

"That's absolutely amazing," says the father, dumbfounded at how adding more routers really can fix every problem imaginable, just like in real networks. Wistfully he asks: "Can you do anything for my wife's Fibromyalgia?"

The Cisco reps smile and return quickly with two Cisco 7600 Series routers. As the woman sits in a chair, they commence sandwiching her in between the routers until she lets out a small moan. "She's okay," the rep says. "This is a more delicate condition, so we're using more focused routers."

The happy father thanks the Cisco reps as they leave him with 4,500 pages of documentation and in-service upgrade instructions. He'll have to trade in his mini-van for an 18-wheeler to take the family on outings. But the cures Cisco can provide with just three routers is certainly worth the extra trouble.

Cisco: Welcome to the Human Network.

— Phil Harvey, Drama Queen, Light Reading

Lite Rock 12/5/2012 | 3:13:11 PM
re: Cisco's Cure You Go Girl.

That Mockery was so well done, I don't think you'll need any Sarcasm Credits to offset it.


P.S Must have been a good weekend!
Greenbone 12/5/2012 | 3:13:09 PM
re: Cisco's Cure ...India & China out-outsourced by Vietnam?

What's next - North Korea, then the final frontier - Cuba - then the whole loop is closed as the Cubans outsource labor to Venezuelan expatriots in Ft. Meyers Florida?

(Rinse, repeat.)

sfwriter 12/5/2012 | 3:13:09 PM
re: Cisco's Cure Cisco has partnered with Hanoi University and is opening a big R&D lab in Vietnam. There's a lot of technology investment going on in Vietnam right now. Intel is spending $1 billion to open a plant in Vietnam. The reason is pure labor arbitrage. Workers make less in Vietnam than in India or China and there's a surprising number of them who have IT skills.

Of course, that doesn't explain the healthcare piece of it.
DCITDave 12/5/2012 | 3:13:09 PM
re: Cisco's Cure I do really wonder what kind of training vid they're filming. Any guesses?

ucblue1 12/5/2012 | 3:13:08 PM
re: Cisco's Cure Probably just a video for their HCIN product....

Too many kids have to translate for their parents.

Not quite as sexy as straping the kid to a CRS-1 tho. ;)
DCITDave 12/5/2012 | 3:13:08 PM
re: Cisco's Cure After we use up Cuba's cheap labor, we'll use robot labor. And then the robots will develop their own intelligence and they'll demand equal treatment. They'll rise up and we'll all go to war. The human race will be decimated, except for a few brave souls on a lone space vessel.

Oh, wait. Sorry, TV was on the background. Damn Sci-fi channel.

DCITDave 12/5/2012 | 3:13:07 PM
re: Cisco's Cure Amen.
sfwriter 12/5/2012 | 3:13:07 PM
re: Cisco's Cure But if those robots look like Number Six and slink around in barely-there clothing, few software engineers will actually complain about losing their jobs.
Tom-Andrew 12/5/2012 | 3:13:05 PM
re: Cisco's Cure I think you all need a vacation!
Lite Rock 12/5/2012 | 3:13:02 PM
re: Cisco's Cure I think you all need a vacation!

Or maybe we need to get real jobs...?

Well except for Phil. His ship already came in.
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