2001 Top Ten: Newsletter One-Liners

Pithy, yet tasteful, remarks from the Light Reading Weekly that hit the most buttons

December 23, 2001

4 Min Read
2001 Top Ten: Newsletter One-Liners

Talk about taking one step forward and one step back.

Each month, an average of 1,746 people sign themselves up for our Light Reading Weekly email newsletter – a compilation of the most interesting stories on Light Reading published during the previous week, accompanied by some pithy (and occasionally pissy) editorial commentary.

And each month, an average of 1,245 people unsubscribe themselves – often in a state of shocked disgust or outrage over something we printed in our latest missive. We can’t share the specific complaints we get with these unsubscribe messages, mainly because most of them aren’t $%#&ing fit to print.

But we can point you to the ten newsletter one-liners that provoked the strongest reaction from subscribers, and the stories that they were promoting.

Incidentally, for the record, we now have 33,155 subscribers to the newsletter. If you’re not a subscriber to Light Reading Weekly and want to join them, feel free to click here:


And don’t worry; unsubscribe instructions come free with every newsletter.


No. 10

No. 9

  • Terabit Router Test: Juniper Wins. Cisco Spins.

    Cisco interpreted the overall results of our latest test differently, misquoted some facts and failed to acknowledge that Light Readingcommissioned the test. The truth, according to their press release, had some stretch marks.


    Dance craze sweeps the nation: Take two steps back, spin. Take one step forward, grin. Do the Cisco shuffle!

No. 8

No. 7

No. 6

No. 5

No. 4

No. 3

No. 2

  • The Name: Arescom (http://www.arescom.com)

    Pronounced "arse-com" (at least by Light Readingeditors). Not really a PR pitch, but bloody funny anyway. Has led to prolonged bouts of total, uncontrollable, can't-get-your-breath-because-you-are-laughing-so-hard hilarity during editorial meetings.

    The Culprit: Arescom (Yes – that's Arescom! Remember the name!)

    The Client: Arescom (Proposed motto: "We put the arse in com")

No. 1

  • Lightspeed Europe 2001 – The Optical Networking Event

    What: An optical networking event by Light Reading and Penton Media
    Where: Earls Court, U.K.
    When: December 4 to 6, 2001


    Yes, we're packing our pork pies and readying our best Dick Van Dyke accents. The entire Light Readingstaff (all 25 of them) is coming to Blighty for Lightspeed Europe. Join us for what critics are already calling the United Nations of optical networking. "Roll out the barrel! We'll have a barrel of..." [Ed.note: stop that!]

    And now, some U.K. Trivia:

    Which of the following are NOT the names of real Unitary Councils in the U.K.?

    1) Stoke-on-Trent
    2) Stockton-on-Tees
    3) Kingston upon Hull
    4) White-on-Rice
    5) Arse-on-Fire
    6) Blackburn with Darwin
    7) Captain on Tennille
    8) Stank-on-Me-Hang-Low
    9) Newcastle upon Tyne
    10) Telford and Wrekin

    Answers to U.K. trivia: Items 4,5,7 & 8 are not Unitary Councils in the U.K.

    While we're at it, here's some help with the language:

    American, British


    pants, trousers
    underpants, pants
    Suspenders, braces
    bathrobe, dressing gown
    Jennifer Jason Leigh, Helena Bonham Carter
    ass, arse
    beer, beer
    Helen Hunt, Cockney rhyming slang

— The Staff, Light Reading

Subscribe and receive the latest news from the industry.
Join 62,000+ members. Yes it's completely free.

You May Also Like