Literal Lunacy

7:00 PM There's a Taco Bell moon a'rising

July 23, 2009

2 Min Read
Literal Lunacy

7:00 PM -- Moon Publicity wants to boldly go where no execrable, loathsome weasel totally lacking in scruples has gone before:

  • New Shadow Shaping technology creates images on the moon that can be seen from Earth. Robots are used to create several small ridges in the lunar dust over large areas that capture shadows and shape them to form logos, domains names or memorials.

Now, don't go thinking this madcap scheme is all about money. On the contrary, Dear Reader, it's about saving mankind... as the Moonies' mission statement explains:

  • Many people are strongly opposed to creating commercial images on the Moon. We would feel the same way if it were solely for monetary gain.

    However, consider the big picture. What is the biggest problem in the world? Is it hunger? Is it illness? Is it war? No. The largest problem is the inevitable extinction of the human species. The other problems don’t matter in a universe without people. Any number of global catastrophes could and eventually will end live on Earth. It could be a collision with an asteroid, a deadly virus, a nuclear war, a supervolcano, a hypernova explosion or our own sun eventually SWALLOWING THE EARTH.

[oomph added]

  • Space travel is more than just footprints and flags; it is vital to our survival. Just as we back up hard drives in case they crash, we need to back up mankind on other worlds.

    Who will do it? Governments? Forty years ago man walked on the Moon. Where have we walked since? It is time that we find a way. Creating images on the Moon provides a commercial incentive for turbo charging space travel technology. Shadows are only the beginning. These advancements will eventually place robots on other worlds building space stations and planting crops.

    The full Moon will always be the same. Shadow Shaping only works during partial phases of the Moon using shadows that blend with its natural beauty. If shadows form a logo during a quarter moon, it will be a small price to pay for saving mankind.

Great idea. Romantic even. Just so long as they don't allow cigarette advertising...

A small price to pay for saving mankind

— Larry, Attack Monkey, Light Reading

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