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How to Confuse Your Dog

Fish in a barrel, really...

July 24, 2006

1 Min Read
How to Confuse Your Dog

1:00 PM -- Amusing item yesterday from The Washington Times calling our attention to this new aid for the clueless from The Land of the Rising Goofiness:

  • ...Bow-Lingual, a Japanese device due to introduced in Europe later this year priced at about $100. It reportedly breaks down the barrier between man and beast by translating a canine's every growl and whimper. Or so its makers claim.

    Created by Matsumi Suzuki of the Japan Acoustics Laboratory, the gizmo records the "voiceprints" of dog barks from more than 80 breeds, plus "mix/other."

    The doggy utterances are then analyzed and divided into six categories -- happiness, sadness, frustration, on-guard, assertiveness and neediness -- before being translated into one of 200 preprogrammed phrases.

Save your $100. Gary Larson in his Far Side cartoon long ago succinctly translated all doggie barks:

  • "Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!"

— Larry, Attack Monkey, Light Reading<

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