Darth Tabor

These people should have to take a bath every few days, put on clean clothes, and keep their hair trimmed neatly...

September 14, 2005

2 Min Read
Darth Tabor

5:30 PM -- There's conservative. Really conservative. Then there's Nathan Tabor, some schmoe who emails me an unsolicited column every now and then. His latest is a fun-filled dance through Hurricane Katrina's aftermath, where he sort of hints that poor people in New Orleans... well, actually, I'm not sure what he's hinting at. Have a read:

In the wake of Hurricane Katrina, the Liberal media is full of recriminations about who should have done what, and when, and why the Federal government miserably failed to do its job. Most of the talking heads want to blame President Bush, personally, for just about everything from global warming to the levee failures and the gas shortages...

Implicit in the foregoing discussions is the now nearly universal assumption that the Nanny State is somehow supposed to provide cradle-to-grave security for each and every person, and that we are all rightfully entitled to it... Gas prices are rising, education costs are soaring, and the degree to which the average American has become increasingly dependent upon on the government is really quite staggering.

Did you read in the news reports that many of the people stranded down in New Orleans could have left before the floodwaters hit, but they were waiting on their Welfare and Social Security checks to come in the mail? That’s how deeply the pernicious Entitlement Mentality has become ingrained in modern society.

Those who receive government help should be held to certain basic requirements. They should have a real job, for example, or be out every day actively looking for one. McDonalds is always hiring – just look at their signs on any street corner. Minimum wage sure beats no wage.

After that, those living on the public dole should be held to standards of personal pride and respectability. Their yards shouldn’t be unsightly and all grown up with weeds. Their houses shouldn’t be peeling paint, or their windows unwashed. Assuming they aren’t just wandering around the streets, these people should also have to take a bath every few days, put on clean clothes, and even keep their hair trimmed neatly. After all, cleanliness is next to godliness, as the old folks used to say back before the Federal government took over being our savior.

The punchline? In his bio, Tabor brags that Jerry Falwell dubbed him the "young Jesse Helms."

No doubt about it. This kid's got a future.

— Phil Harvey, Conservative Haircut Editor, Light Reading

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