11:35 AM -- If, like me, you crave convivial smalltalk when you're loading up on cheap hooch, The Philadelphia Inquirer has good news:

State liquor-store clerks kindly wish to inform you that they will say "hello" when you walk through the door, help you out when you need it, and remember to say "thank you" and "come again."

At least they will once training begins.

Starting this month, the Pennsylvania Liquor Control Board is spending more than $170,000 on a charm school of sorts for its 4,000 employees.

If I might make a suggestion... Complimentary cocktail weenies would really boost sales.

— Larry, Attack Monkey, Light Reading