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Don't Go There

Larry, Monkey
Monkey Bidness
Larry, Monkey
8/27/2010

9:45 AM -- We are pleased to call to your attention the newly published 101 Places NOT to See Before You Die by Catherine Price. The author sees her book as a needed corrective to all those books exhorting you to do 101 or 1,001 goddam things before you die. Who has the time or the wherewithal? So she offers a few you can scratch off your list.

Highlights include the Testicle Festival in Missoula, Montana (slogan: "Have a Ball"), the Tap Water Museum in Beijing (where the city water, she notes, is "still unsafe to drink"), and Nevada.

Ms. Price welcomes your own contributions, as does the undersigned Monkey.

High on my list of things to avoid? The Bucket List. Don't go there.

— Larry, Attack Monkey, Light Reading

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shygye75
shygye75
12/5/2012 | 4:25:26 PM
re: Don't Go There


Seaside Heights, NJ -- There are no actual heights there, and the place is now swarming with Snook-alikes.

Larry, Monkey
Larry, Monkey
12/5/2012 | 4:25:25 PM
re: Don't Go There


This Wiener's Circle?


The language used by both the staff and customers during these hours is notoriously foul and aggressive, and sometimes racist. As the wait-staff is largely black and the clientele middle-class to wealthy white, the more racist epithets have led to the rare physical altercation. Customers commonly request a "chocolate milkshake," which is code for asking one of the female employees to shake her breasts.


Sounds like heaven.

Stevery
Stevery
12/5/2012 | 4:25:25 PM
re: Don't Go There


WHAT! #56 is Chicago's very own Weiner's Circle.


I would have numbered it sequentially with The Testicle Festival, but that's just the 13 year old in me.

sarahthomas1011
sarahthomas1011
12/5/2012 | 4:25:25 PM
re: Don't Go There


WHAT! #56 is Chicago's very own Weiner's Circle. This lady just lost all credibility.

Larry, Monkey
Larry, Monkey
12/5/2012 | 4:25:24 PM
re: Don't Go There


Me, I'd beg off the Chernobyl Tour.


The cheese fries are great, I hear, but they glow in the dark.

sarahthomas1011
sarahthomas1011
12/5/2012 | 4:25:24 PM
re: Don't Go There


Yep, it's a pretty terrible place, but if you're saying it's one of worst places in the world, you've clearly never had their cheese fries at 3 a.m.

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