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FTTx

Fiber to the Squirrel

1:00 AM -- From The Philter's "You're Such an Animal" file, I proudly pass on this note from the great Graham Finnie:

I’m sure you all recall the worrying news I sent recently about crows laying waste to Tokyo’s expanding FTTH [fiber to the home] network.

However, it turns out that crows are only the half of it. According to Nobuo Kuwaki of NTT East’s Technical Assistance & Support Center, speaking here today, an entire menagerie of “living creatures” is waging war on NTT’s aerial fiber loops including monkeys, cicadas, rats and, most bizarrely of all, the white-cheeked giant flying squirrel. Mr Kuwaki said that NTT has developed a variety of counter-measures, including a specially designed squirrel-proof cover.

The picture below, from an article on the gliding behaviour of the white-cheeked giant flying squirrel that appeared in the Journal of Mammalogy, is the only one I could find. In the interests of accuracy, I should add that other more common types of squirrel are implicated in the Japanese attacks.

Mr Kuwaki also threw cold water on the theory propounded in the Times article to the effect that crows are eating NTT’s optical fiber as a form of “mating season stress relief”. On the contrary, Mr Kuwaki said, the fiber-pecking is a year-round affair and the crows do it because it is a “fun activity”.

It’s possible I dreamt this whole thing up and just need a good night’s sleep. I’m off for a Kirin. Or did I already have one?



As ever, I stand ready to pass along your broadband animal stories. Send them now or I'll mobilize my army of flying rats.

— Phil Harvey, White-Cheeked Editor, Light Reading

paolo.franzoi 12/5/2012 | 3:48:46 AM
re: Fiber to the Squirrel
Do the Bangles or the Go-Gos work as a broad band?

I always thought Courtney Love was the enemy of broad bands. :)

seven
DCITDave 12/5/2012 | 3:48:44 AM
re: Fiber to the Squirrel re: "Here in Texas, oour crows have been known to carry off smalll children and occasionally to knock over a liquor store, so their super delicious awesome fiber would not stand a chance here."

I want to tell folks that he's exaggerating, but I can't. My tomcat's actually afraid of the crows here. It's like they found some dinosaur DNA and they're not sharing it with the rest of the birds.

ph
DCITDave 12/5/2012 | 3:48:44 AM
re: Fiber to the Squirrel I thought L7 was more of the anti-girl band girl band. They rocked. The Donnas aren't so bad, either.

ph
"Ill" Duce 12/5/2012 | 3:48:44 AM
re: Fiber to the Squirrel I think Courtney Love has become the epitome of a broad band.

What they fail to tell you in the article is that NTT was using a special fiber that was scented with "super happy orangetime fragrance" in order to make the environment more pleasant. It's a sort of supercharged telecom Air freshener but instead of hanging it from your mirror it hangs from the poles.

Here in Texas, oour crows have been known to carry off smalll children and occasionally to knock over a liquor store, so their super delicious awesome fiber would not stand a chance here.

Those crazed Japanese flying squirrels are just mad because they can't get mobile broadband.

Duce
paolo.franzoi 12/5/2012 | 3:48:42 AM
re: Fiber to the Squirrel
Uhhhhh....anyplace that has Nancy Wilson listed as the best guitarist of all times is highly suspect.

seven
Michael Harris 12/5/2012 | 3:48:42 AM
re: Fiber to the Squirrel Crows are pecking away at NTT fiber in Japan. Meth addicts are stealing Verizon copper in California. Wireless is looking better all the time!

The Go-Gos top this list of broad bands:
http://www.wanderlist.com/chic...

God Bless the Go-Go's, who play tonight in LA:
http://www.gogos.com/dd/music....
williams 12/5/2012 | 3:48:35 AM
re: Fiber to the Squirrel ... and can one really trust a list of "all girl" bands that includes the Dwarves?

http://www.thedwarves.com/pic_...

... the list also includes Blondie:

http://www.blondie.net/index.s...

not quite "all girl".

the donnas rule!
DCITDave 12/5/2012 | 3:48:34 AM
re: Fiber to the Squirrel re: "Uhhhhh....anyplace that has Nancy Wilson listed as the best guitarist of all times is highly suspect."

Exactly. The only thing Nancy Wilson could beat most guitarists in is an eating competition.

ph
"Ill" Duce 12/5/2012 | 3:48:30 AM
re: Fiber to the Squirrel Hey isn't Nancy the thin one?

I love the fact that the Dwarves are on an all girl list. I can't think of a better band for it. Maybe the Mentors.

The GoGo's? What year is this?

The Donnas are all right. and the 5,6,7,8's. Or is it the 1234's?

wwatts 12/5/2012 | 3:48:29 AM
re: Fiber to the Squirrel
"The only thing Nancy Wilson could beat most guitarists in is an eating competition."

ph

You have Ann(e?) and Nancy Wilson confused.

ww

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