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Chicken Kiev It Ain't

Calling Comrade Sanders!

June 7, 2005

1 Min Read
Chicken Kiev It Ain't

1:30 PM -- It was a foul day in Mother Russia, according to Pravda:

  • About 700,000 chickens died at a poultry farm in the Moscow region as a result of the recent blackout in Russia's capital. "The chickens died because of no ventilation, increased temperatures and broken water supplies," a spokesman for the factory said...

    "This is such a distress. They made a gigantic graveyard of birds just 50 meters far from our village! We are on the brink of an ecological disaster," locals say. "Do you smell the stench? We will have to wear gasmasks now..."

    The people also said that dead birds started exploding a day later. "Specialists said that such a mass of dead chickens emitted a lot of gas..."

Pravda online, it should be noted, carries a rather unfortunate slogan, given that country's recent history: "Say what you want! PRAVDA.Ru will hear you!" Just speak clearly into the desklamp, comrade!

— Larry, Gaseous Attack Monkey, Light Reading

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