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EMBARQ!

2:30 PM -- Telecom has a new name.

Now, more than ever, the telecommunications landscape is confusing, frightening, and difficult to eat.

Now, more than ever, we need a company to rise up and connect our world with new technologies, a state-of-the-art network, and the promise of what's ahead.

Introducing EMBARQ.

EMBARQ is no ordinary telecommunications company. Like a green paper airplane, a retarded Origami duck, or Robin Hood's hat turned sideways, EMBARQ sails through the air with diligence, perseverance, and the fortitude required to enable superior communications.

EMBARQ is aggressive, dynamic, and forward-thinking. EMBARQ is muscular, tall, and able to make its buttocks quiver in a suggestive manner.

When Sprint's local telecom division separates from Sprint Corp. (NYSE: S) in the second quarter, it will become EMBARQ, the fifth largest local communications company in these United States, the country that invented everything.

That's all capital letters to you, you saw-toothed ape. EMBARQ. Like a triangle falling over on its side, EMBARQ will change the way we look at telecommunications.

Not a sharq. Not an aardvarq. Not a titlarq.

EMBARQ.

— Phil Harvey, Brand Spanking Editor, Light Reading

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DCITDave 12/5/2012 | 4:07:24 AM
re: EMBARQ! It does look airline-y.

Makes the new at&t marble look great.

ph

Scott Raynovich 12/5/2012 | 4:07:24 AM
re: EMBARQ! If you didn't tell me what this was, my guess would be an Eastern European airline with really bad food and a history of maintenance problems.
paolo.franzoi 12/5/2012 | 4:07:23 AM
re: EMBARQ!
Read the PR on the name. It is funnier than your article, especially considering they were serious.

seven
chip_mate 12/5/2012 | 4:07:22 AM
re: EMBARQ! Isn't Embarq South of Tikrit? I thought that was mostly Sunni turf, but could be mistaken.
douggreen 12/5/2012 | 4:07:19 AM
re: EMBARQ! Did this name come from the same marketing firm that came up with the name Lucent the big red zero?

I wonder how much they paid for it. Can LR do some snooping to find out?
DCITDave 12/5/2012 | 4:07:16 AM
re: EMBARQ! re: "I wonder how much they paid for it. Can LR do some snooping to find out?"

I will ask. Not sure if stuff like that is routinely disclosed. But I'll ask them and I'll ask some ad agency folks to see who knows.

ph
DCITDave 12/5/2012 | 4:07:16 AM
re: EMBARQ! re: "Read the PR on the name. It is funnier than your article, especially considering they were serious.

seven"

I did. It was. I can only hope to be that funny when I'm serious.

ph
kww 12/5/2012 | 4:07:16 AM
re: EMBARQ! I'm amazed that AT&T could change their logo and I would soldier on unaware of it. That new one is just plain ugly. When did it happen?

I always tended to use rectal analogies in reference to the Lucent logo ... either bleeding or flaming.
probably 12/5/2012 | 4:07:15 AM
re: EMBARQ! Much snappier. Here's the matching logo:

>:(

I'm in the wrong job.
probably 12/5/2012 | 4:07:12 AM
re: EMBARQ! "Thales High Tech Optics relaunched as Qioptiq"

We also have the great Qinetiq.

It's just all so tiresome. The fad for abbreviations as company names is gone, to be replaced by phonetic gibberish.

Or should that be qibberish?

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