Now, more than ever, the telecommunications landscape is confusing, frightening, and difficult to eat.
Now, more than ever, we need a company to rise up and connect our world with new technologies, a state-of-the-art network, and the promise of what's ahead.
EMBARQ is no ordinary telecommunications company. Like a green paper airplane, a retarded Origami duck, or Robin Hood's hat turned sideways, EMBARQ sails through the air with diligence, perseverance, and the fortitude required to enable superior communications.
EMBARQ is aggressive, dynamic, and forward-thinking. EMBARQ is muscular, tall, and able to make its buttocks quiver in a suggestive manner.
When Sprint's local telecom division separates from Sprint Corp. (NYSE: S) in the second quarter, it will become EMBARQ, the fifth largest local communications company in these United States, the country that invented everything.
That's all capital letters to you, you saw-toothed ape. EMBARQ. Like a triangle falling over on its side, EMBARQ will change the way we look at telecommunications.
Not a sharq. Not an aardvarq. Not a titlarq.
— Phil Harvey, Brand Spanking Editor, Light Reading