Brown Nosing for Dummies

How to suck up, and being a turd at work

November 8, 2007

2 Min Read
Brown Nosing for Dummies

4:00 PM -- I received this worthless piece of email poop today, courtesy of our friends over at Medicine & Health Minute:

  • Here's What to Do When an Employee Criticizes A Supervisor

  • When you're standing in for a superior at a meeting: If attendees decide to air complaints about the supervisor during a meeting, you need to respond as effectively as possible. Take time to find out the reason for their anger, answer questions, clear confusion, and explain his position. Your overall mission is to support your superior.

Always put the mission first. I support you 'til death, my liege!

  • When you're in a social atmosphere: Social gatherings are sometimes a popular forum for office gossip. When the gossip is about a superior, steer the conversation in another direction. If you're not able to change the subject, simply excuse yourself from the discussion.

And immediately begin thrashing your head against the nearest wall, willing an amnesiac spell to rid you of the dreadful gossip.

  • When you're at work. Whether you overhear comments or colleagues complain to you directly, gather the information and try to find out as much as you can in order to respond appropriately.

In other words, make no friends and brown nose your ass off.

Also, keep the following in mind:

  • While it's necessary to support your supervisor when others criticize him or her or spread gossip, you should make him or her aware of what's going on when:

    • Your supervisor is able to take steps to correct the complaints or criticism.

    • You're able to take corrective action to stop the criticism.

"Corrective action" a.k.a. "Muuuurrrrder." Bwahahahahahaha!

— Red Panda, Inferior Mammal, Light Reading

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