Rednecks Gone Wild!

5:30 PM -- Texans congregated this week to boast their excellence in both athletics and grossing out the neighborhood. The AP was on the scene:

    More than a few athletes have been accused of doping over the years — but the competitors at the "Texas Redneck Games" might just be dopes.

Ooh... Burnt. Good one, AP!

    These competitors forgo the shotput for the "Mattress Chuck" — in which two-man teams heave a mattress from the back of a pickup truck as far as they can. And if you aren't planning on heading to Beijing for the next Olympic Games, there's always the ugly "butt-crack contest."

"As usual, I beat that one with flying colors," says Light Reading's resident redneck, Phil Harvey, a Texas Redneck Games regular.

    By the time the latest Redneck Games ended Sunday, more than 54 arrests and citations had been issued on charges ranging from public intoxication to speeding, according to the Henderson County Sheriff's Department. Officials are considering charges against the organizer and landowners where the event was held.

    "I'm an old fuddy duddy and all that, but you got a vehicle, you got alcohol, and you got illegal dumping, and you're making a contest out of that?" said Lt. Pat McWilliams, sheriff's spokesman. "We are very fortunate that we didn't have a fatality."

Hmm... You sure about that last part, Patsy?

— Red Panda, Congrats Phil! Light Reading

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