Here at Light Reading Towers, we are always on the lookout for mad monikers -- whether it's ridiculous company names that should have never made it beyond a PowerPoint slide or personal handles that sound as if they belong to someone else or were made up in the pub.
We've been identifying outrageous names for a while now, though there were a lot more options in the days when VCs were prepared to throw money at startups with names that sounded like a nasty rash. (Anyone remember Spirea? See 50 Worst Company Names.)
Here's the pick of our most recent harvest…
It used to be called Qatar Telecom. Dull, but it made sense. And then someone must have watched an episode of Scooby Doo. If only someone in the marketing department had said: "Ooredon't!"
It's French, but that's no excuse. One for the annals.
We've found a furrow and we're gonna plow it. All right, it's not really a telecom company, it's a Web hosting firm, but for Arsys we're prepared to make an exception.
- Ryan Pellet
In another life, he could have been a hard-boiled detective. In this one, he's senior vice president of Nexidia.
It looks like a challenging hand at Scrabble, but it's actually an outfit that sells VoIP services to enterprises. It's the one they ask for by name.
- Ed Drilling
In another life, he could have been, er... something in the less wholesome reaches of the movie industry. In this one, he's president of AT&T Arkansas.
This big-data analytics firm claims that its name is "derived from spelunking," spelunking being something to do with caves. It still doesn't work.
- John Barnicle
By rights, he should be steering a trawler through the Northwest Passage with a pipe clenched between his teeth. Instead, he's wearing a suit and being CEO and president of Peerless Networks. Shame.
It's a conference-calling service that acquired Yuuguu in 2010. Not sure which is worse.
- Genius Wong
Senior vice president of Global Network Services at Tata Communications. Who wouldn't want this on his business card? It's so right -- and yet...
— Paul Rainford, Assistant Editor, Europe, Light Reading