1:00 PM -- Inspired by a piece about the health awareness calendar on Sunday's NPR program, On the Media, the Light Reading Simian Research Institute has compiled a partial list of important stuff we must all be aware of this month. June is:

• Headache Awareness Month
• Torture Awareness Month
• Accordion Awareness Month (coincidence?)
  
  
• Hernia Awareness Month
• Spina Bifida Awareness Month
• Scleroderma Awareness Month (These massive beasts once roamed the Earth!)
• Brain Injury Awareness Month
• Aphasia Awareness Month
• Effective Communications Month (Good luck, aphasics.)
• Tourette Syndrome Awareness Month (frigging May 15 to June 15 goddammit!)
  
  
• Low-Carb Awareness Month
• Soul Food Month
• Dairy Month
• Beef Awareness Month (Eat more Slim Jims!)
• Men's Health Awareness Month (Eat more Slim Jims!)
• Turkey Lover’s Month (Hey. Don't knock it if you haven't tried it.)
• Goat Trauma Awareness Month ("Stay alert. Goats are deceitful and can hide just about anywhere.")
  
  
• Safety Month (Green ribbons available!)
• Potty Training Awareness Month (Gotta add that to my to-do list.)
• Children's Awareness Month (If you spot one, report it immediately to the authorities. They're deceitful and can hide just about anywhere.)
• Invasive Species Awareness Month (Children, Mexicans, Canadians, Sclerodermas... you name it.)
  
  
• National Celibacy Awareness Month (For some of us every month...)

— Larry, Aware Monkey, Light Reading