Light Reading

Beware!

Column
Column
Column
10/30/2003
50%
50%

Hist whist, little ghost things!

It’s that special time of year again: the season of ghoulies and ghosties and long-leggedy beasties, and things that go bump! in the night!

As it happens, quite a few truly scaaaaaaaaaary things have been going bump! in our in-box of late. And some of them, frankly, are beginning to smell. So, in the spirit of Trick or Treat, we hereby pass some of the fouler specimens along to you. But beware, my monkettes! A hearty beverage should be taken with what follows...

  • First off: the good news. CPqD (wasn't that one o'them robots in Star Wars?) was looking to lure us to USTA Telecom03 in Las Vegas thusly: “Play golf. Have fun. Network with telecom leaders. Win a hummer!”

    Well. Screw golf, and I can forbear the rollicking good times with the "telecom leaders," but a free hummer? Heck, it suits my agenda! I never leave Vegas without getting myself a good hummer or two!

  • Speaking of bacchanalian romps: “Lucent Technologies will host a Brown Bag eLunch teleconference on Friday, October 31… The Brown Bag eLunch is a series of informational webcasts designed to highlight Lucent's latest strategies, solutions, products and technologiezzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...

    Hold me back, mama! Them Lucites may have some money problems, but they still know how to show a monkey a good time. I’m strappin’ on the e-bag even as we speak!

  • From the Marketing Mayhem League: Alan Kipping says his firm, Sevista, can help us with our "subscription stimulation." Sorry Al, but you sounded just a bit too eager – plus, as we've found to our considerable chagrin, "subscription stimulation" happens to be illegal in at least seven states.

  • Here’s a frightening manifesto from across the puddle: Paris Europlace is hosting a conference dedicated to ”European Enlargement and Integration.” Watch yer back, Mongolia! The Lebensraum hunt is on again!

  • Speaking of puddles: A moist Adelphia spokesbod alerts us to a change of plans (and knickers, apparently): “Hi Mary – My apologies for the incontinence...” Hey, no prob! But no piggy-back rides for you... and don’t call me Mary!

  • From the Dept. of Acroterror: "Phapps (an acronym for phone applications) is both a new medium and a new creative message platform that turns the average mobile phone into an interactive informational, advertising or e-Commerce medium today..." So writes Fern Flamberg (or is that Phern Phlamberg?) from the Empty Blather Division of DeviceIQ. Thanks, Fern, but we'll stick with Phone Articulations for now.

  • More from the Eastern Front: “Sagem is a French high tech multinational with offices in over twenty countries and production facilities in Germany, Brazil, Spain, US and the Check Republic.” Rumor has it they’re looking to expand into the Credit Union and, perhaps, the Sultanate of Simoleons as well.

  • And finally, this memo from the folk at Evite. No, not that Argentine babe – Evite’s the electronic greeting card company, holidays their specialty. We reproduce it in full:

      Dear Evite Newsletter Subscriber,

      Yesterday we mailed a newsletter to our subscribers with incorrect dates for three important Holidays. Please accept our sincerest apologies for these errors and note the following corrections:

      Labor Day, September 1st
      Rosh Hashanah, September 27th
      Yom Kippur, October 6th

      In addition, we also wish to apologize for having listed Yom Kippur as one of our "Reasons To Party". We understand and respect that Yom Kippur is a Day of Atonement, a day to be taken seriously to reflect and fast, and as such, one of the most important Jewish Holidays in the year.

      Again we deeply apologize for the error and thank you for allowing us to make this correction.

      Very Best,
      The Evite Team
    Party on, penitents! And Christmas has been moved to the 11th this year! So Happy Halloween, my primate pals! And remember...

      whisk look out for the old woman
      with the wart on her nose
      what she'll do to yer
      nobody knows
    But it could be a hummer!

    — Larry, Monkey, Light Reading

    (0)  | 
    Comment  | 
    Print  | 
  • Newest First  |  Oldest First  |  Threaded View
    More Blogs from Column
    Bigger. And Better. But definitely bigger.
    When trying to develop innovative technologies, engineers must be willing to take risks, make mistakes and move ahead incrementally without having all the data.
    Mobile network operators have the network and a business model that makes them well suited to lead the charge as the Internet of Things (IoT) takes off.
    Gathering useful information for real-time management of Ethernet and IP networks is a non-trivial issue.
    There are three important questions service providers need to address for in-market and out-of-market expansion.
    Flash Poll
    From The Founder
    The New IP is actually bigger even than business. Like another hugely important tech that Light Reading is digging into right now, the New IP has the potential to change the world by fundamentally advancing what it is possible for people to achieve with communications.
    LRTV Huawei Video Resource Center
    Huawei Shares Its Vision of the Future of Mobile Networks Innovations

    2|26|15   |   2:30   |   (0) comments


    Mobile broadband is changing our lives. It's reshaping the Internet, industry, and society. It allows us to freely connect with one another anytime, anywhere. At this year's Mobile World Congress, Huawei will share its latest insights and newest ideas and technologies that will shape the future of MBB. They will showcase their end-to-end MBB solutions that will ...
    LRTV Huawei Video Resource Center
    Accelerate Digitizing, Boost Digital Business

    2|26|15   |   6:14   |   (0) comments


    A new digital revolution is leading us to a better connected world. Together with millions of digital partners, Huawei will help CSPs to build their digital service ecosystem and aggregate a wide variety of digital services. In this video, we find out how Huawei is going to help CSPs implement digital operations.
    LRTV Huawei Video Resource Center
    The Secret Recipe to Enabling Hyper-Growth Industries

    2|26|15   |   3:38   |   (0) comments


    With a number of successful cases on network capability exposure, Huawei is going to share the secret recipe to enabling hyper-growth markets with a step-by-step approach.
    LRTV Documentaries
    BTE 2015 Is Bigger & Even Better

    2|25|15   |   03:13   |   (4) comments


    This year's Big Telecom Event (BTE) in Chicago is going to provide more opportunities than ever for networking, getting to grips with key industry challenges and opportunities and, equally as important, having some fun.
    LRTV Interviews
    Light Reading ICT Leaders Roundtable at MWC 2015

    2|12|15   |   1:07   |   (2) comments


    On Sunday March 1, 2015, Light Reading will host an ICT Leaders Roundtable in partnership with Huawei. At this half-day event, CIOs, analysts and researchers will discuss key industry trends like virtualization in the cloud with a specific focus on new business models. Located at the luxurious Renaissance Hotel near the Fira Barcelona, space is limited so please ...
    LRTV Documentaries
    Going Green in 2015

    2|12|15   |   02:04   |   (0) comments


    Energy efficiency is set to be an incredibly hot topic in the telecom industry this year.
    LRTV Custom TV
    SDN & NFV: Where Are We Going From Here?

    2|11|15   |   11:27   |   (0) comments


    Vitesse Semiconductor CTO Martin Nuss gives his perspective on why SDN and NFV should be tightly interconnected and how he sees the industry moving forward.
    LRTV Documentaries
    Time for Gigabit Europe?

    2|9|15   |   01:27   |   (4) comments


    Gigabit broadband networks are springing up all around the US and they'll soon become more commonplace in Europe.
    LRTV Interviews
    Brocade Brings New IP Vision to 2020 Vision Executive Summit

    2|3|15   |   4:23   |   (0) comments


    In December 2014, Light Reading gathered telecom executives in Reykjavik, Iceland to discuss their vision for high-capacity networks through the end of the decade. The intimate, interactive meeting was set against the backdrop of Iceland's spectacular natural beauty. As one of the event's founding sponsors, Brocade's Kelly Herrell shared his company's strategy at ...
    LRTV Interviews
    Brocade's Kelly Herrell on the New IP

    2|2|15   |   12:36   |   (0) comments


    In December 2014, Steve Saunders sat down with Brocade VP of Software Networking Kelly Herrell at Light Reading's 2020 Vision executive summit in Reykjavik, Iceland. They spoke about Brocade's approach to the New IP, the future of the telecom industry, and more.
    LRTV Huawei Video Resource Center
    Dr. Dong Sun Talks About Carriers' Digital Transformation & Huawei’s Telco OS

    1|29|15   |   6:28   |   (0) comments


    Dr. Dong Sun, Chief Architect of Digital Transformation Solutions at Huawei, discusses how telecom operators can become digital ecosystem enablers and deliver optimal user experiences that are in real-time, on-demand, all-online, DIY and social (ROADS).
    LRTV Huawei Video Resource Center
    Huawei's Chief Network Architect Talks about Network Experience & Operators’ Strategies

    1|29|15   |   3:39   |   (0) comments


    In the digital age, network experience has become the primary productivity especially for telecom operators. In this video, Wenshuan Dang, Huawei’s Chief Network Architect, discusses how carriers can tackle the challenge of infrastructure complexity in order to enhance business agility and improve user experience.
    Upcoming Live Events
    March 17, 2015, The Cable Center, Denver, CO
    April 14, 2015, The Westin Times Square, New York City, NY
    May 12, 2015, Grand Hyatt, Denver, CO
    May 13-14, 2015, The Westin Peachtree, Atlanta, GA
    June 8, 2015, Chicago, IL
    June 9-10, 2015, Chicago, IL
    June 9, 2015, Chicago, IL
    June 10, 2015, Chicago, IL
    All Upcoming Live Events
    Infographics
    Net neutrality, broadband services and the current outlook on data consumption, as presented by the New Jersey Institute of Technology.
    Hot Topics
    Cyber Security Expert Warns: You're Doing It Wrong
    Sarah Thomas, Editorial Operations Director, 2/23/2015
    10 Weirdly Useful IoT Devices
    Eryn Leavens, Copy Desk Editor, 2/24/2015
    Small Cells Enabling Location Services
    Sarah Thomas, Editorial Operations Director, 2/25/2015
    FCC Adopts Title II Rules
    Alan Breznick, Cable/Video Practice Leader, 2/26/2015
    Like Us on Facebook
    Twitter Feed
    Webinar Archive
    BETWEEN THE CEOs - Executive Interviews
    Check out Light Reading's interview with Jay Samit, the newly appointed CEO of publicly traded SeaChange International Inc. With a resume that includes Sony, EMI, and Universal, Samit brings a reputation as an entrepreneur and a disruptor to his new role at the video solutions company. Hear what he had to say about the opportunities in video, as well as the outlook for cable, telco, OTT and mobile service providers.
    G'day! And welcome to an entirely new feature on Light Reading -- our weekly "CEO-to-CEO" interview.