& cplSiteName &

Beware!

Column
Column
Column
10/30/2003
50%
50%

Hist whist, little ghost things!

It’s that special time of year again: the season of ghoulies and ghosties and long-leggedy beasties, and things that go bump! in the night!

As it happens, quite a few truly scaaaaaaaaaary things have been going bump! in our in-box of late. And some of them, frankly, are beginning to smell. So, in the spirit of Trick or Treat, we hereby pass some of the fouler specimens along to you. But beware, my monkettes! A hearty beverage should be taken with what follows...

  • First off: the good news. CPqD (wasn't that one o'them robots in Star Wars?) was looking to lure us to USTA Telecom03 in Las Vegas thusly: “Play golf. Have fun. Network with telecom leaders. Win a hummer!”

    Well. Screw golf, and I can forbear the rollicking good times with the "telecom leaders," but a free hummer? Heck, it suits my agenda! I never leave Vegas without getting myself a good hummer or two!

  • Speaking of bacchanalian romps: “Lucent Technologies will host a Brown Bag eLunch teleconference on Friday, October 31… The Brown Bag eLunch is a series of informational webcasts designed to highlight Lucent's latest strategies, solutions, products and technologiezzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...

    Hold me back, mama! Them Lucites may have some money problems, but they still know how to show a monkey a good time. I’m strappin’ on the e-bag even as we speak!

  • From the Marketing Mayhem League: Alan Kipping says his firm, Sevista, can help us with our "subscription stimulation." Sorry Al, but you sounded just a bit too eager – plus, as we've found to our considerable chagrin, "subscription stimulation" happens to be illegal in at least seven states.

  • Here’s a frightening manifesto from across the puddle: Paris Europlace is hosting a conference dedicated to ”European Enlargement and Integration.” Watch yer back, Mongolia! The Lebensraum hunt is on again!

  • Speaking of puddles: A moist Adelphia spokesbod alerts us to a change of plans (and knickers, apparently): “Hi Mary – My apologies for the incontinence...” Hey, no prob! But no piggy-back rides for you... and don’t call me Mary!

  • From the Dept. of Acroterror: "Phapps (an acronym for phone applications) is both a new medium and a new creative message platform that turns the average mobile phone into an interactive informational, advertising or e-Commerce medium today..." So writes Fern Flamberg (or is that Phern Phlamberg?) from the Empty Blather Division of DeviceIQ. Thanks, Fern, but we'll stick with Phone Articulations for now.

  • More from the Eastern Front: “Sagem is a French high tech multinational with offices in over twenty countries and production facilities in Germany, Brazil, Spain, US and the Check Republic.” Rumor has it they’re looking to expand into the Credit Union and, perhaps, the Sultanate of Simoleons as well.

  • And finally, this memo from the folk at Evite. No, not that Argentine babe – Evite’s the electronic greeting card company, holidays their specialty. We reproduce it in full:

      Dear Evite Newsletter Subscriber,

      Yesterday we mailed a newsletter to our subscribers with incorrect dates for three important Holidays. Please accept our sincerest apologies for these errors and note the following corrections:

      Labor Day, September 1st
      Rosh Hashanah, September 27th
      Yom Kippur, October 6th

      In addition, we also wish to apologize for having listed Yom Kippur as one of our "Reasons To Party". We understand and respect that Yom Kippur is a Day of Atonement, a day to be taken seriously to reflect and fast, and as such, one of the most important Jewish Holidays in the year.

      Again we deeply apologize for the error and thank you for allowing us to make this correction.

      Very Best,
      The Evite Team
    Party on, penitents! And Christmas has been moved to the 11th this year! So Happy Halloween, my primate pals! And remember...

      whisk look out for the old woman
      with the wart on her nose
      what she'll do to yer
      nobody knows
    But it could be a hummer!

    — Larry, Monkey, Light Reading

    (0)  | 
    Comment  | 
    Print  | 
  • Newest First  |  Oldest First  |  Threaded View        ADD A COMMENT
    More Blogs from Column
    The definition of voice services is widening beyond phone calls, even into IoT. That calls for a more open approach to product development, Ian Maclean of Metaswitch argues.
    The shift to cloud is turning unified communications into the next hot service for enterprises as the UCaaS market continues to expand.
    Pay-TV providers should focus on four key areas to bring employees and customers along for the ride.
    The shift to cloud computing is changing the way business is done. Now, the CFOs and their finance teams are seeing a benefit in cloud as well.
    As enterprises spread applications across multiple clouds, they need ways to maintain visibility and control, Ixia's Jeff Harris argues.
    Featured Video
    From The Founder
    Light Reading is spending much of this year digging into the details of how automation technology will impact the comms market, but let's take a moment to also look at how automation is set to overturn the current world order by the middle of the century.
    Flash Poll
    Upcoming Live Events
    November 1, 2017, The Royal Garden Hotel
    November 1, 2017, The Montcalm Marble Arch
    November 2, 2017, 8 Northumberland Avenue, London, UK
    November 2, 2017, 8 Northumberland Avenue – London
    November 10, 2017, The Westin Times Square, New York, NY
    November 16, 2017, ExCel Centre, London
    November 30, 2017, The Westin Times Square
    May 14-17, 2018, Austin Convention Center
    All Upcoming Live Events
    Infographics
    With the mobile ecosystem becoming increasingly vulnerable to security threats, AdaptiveMobile has laid out some of the key considerations for the wireless community.
    Hot Topics
    Muni Policies Stymie Edge Computing
    Carol Wilson, Editor-at-large, 10/17/2017
    'Brutal' Automation & the Looming Workforce Cull
    Iain Morris, News Editor, 10/18/2017
    Worried About Bandwidth for 4K? Here Comes 8K!
    Aditya Kishore, Practice Leader, Video Transformation, Telco Transformation, 10/17/2017
    What Does Automation Mean to You?
    Ray Le Maistre, International Group Editor, 10/17/2017
    Animals with Phones
    Selfie Game Strong Click Here
    Latest Comment
    Live Digital Audio

    Understanding the full experience of women in technology requires starting at the collegiate level (or sooner) and studying the technologies women are involved with, company cultures they're part of and personal experiences of individuals.

    During this WiC radio show, we will talk with Nicole Engelbert, the director of Research & Analysis for Ovum Technology and a 23-year telecom industry veteran, about her experiences and perspectives on women in tech. Engelbert covers infrastructure, applications and industries for Ovum, but she is also involved in the research firm's higher education team and has helped colleges and universities globally leverage technology as a strategy for improving recruitment, retention and graduation performance.

    She will share her unique insight into the collegiate level, where women pursuing engineering and STEM-related degrees is dwindling. Engelbert will also reveal new, original Ovum research on the topics of artificial intelligence, the Internet of Things, security and augmented reality, as well as discuss what each of those technologies might mean for women in our field. As always, we'll also leave plenty of time to answer all your questions live on the air and chat board.

    Like Us on Facebook
    Twitter Feed
    Partner Perspectives - content from our sponsors
    The Mobile Broadband Road Ahead
    By Kevin Taylor, for Huawei
    All Partner Perspectives