Light Reading

Beware!

Column
Column
Column
10/30/2003
50%
50%

Hist whist, little ghost things!

It’s that special time of year again: the season of ghoulies and ghosties and long-leggedy beasties, and things that go bump! in the night!

As it happens, quite a few truly scaaaaaaaaaary things have been going bump! in our in-box of late. And some of them, frankly, are beginning to smell. So, in the spirit of Trick or Treat, we hereby pass some of the fouler specimens along to you. But beware, my monkettes! A hearty beverage should be taken with what follows...

  • First off: the good news. CPqD (wasn't that one o'them robots in Star Wars?) was looking to lure us to USTA Telecom03 in Las Vegas thusly: “Play golf. Have fun. Network with telecom leaders. Win a hummer!”

    Well. Screw golf, and I can forbear the rollicking good times with the "telecom leaders," but a free hummer? Heck, it suits my agenda! I never leave Vegas without getting myself a good hummer or two!

  • Speaking of bacchanalian romps: “Lucent Technologies will host a Brown Bag eLunch teleconference on Friday, October 31… The Brown Bag eLunch is a series of informational webcasts designed to highlight Lucent's latest strategies, solutions, products and technologiezzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...

    Hold me back, mama! Them Lucites may have some money problems, but they still know how to show a monkey a good time. I’m strappin’ on the e-bag even as we speak!

  • From the Marketing Mayhem League: Alan Kipping says his firm, Sevista, can help us with our "subscription stimulation." Sorry Al, but you sounded just a bit too eager – plus, as we've found to our considerable chagrin, "subscription stimulation" happens to be illegal in at least seven states.

  • Here’s a frightening manifesto from across the puddle: Paris Europlace is hosting a conference dedicated to ”European Enlargement and Integration.” Watch yer back, Mongolia! The Lebensraum hunt is on again!

  • Speaking of puddles: A moist Adelphia spokesbod alerts us to a change of plans (and knickers, apparently): “Hi Mary – My apologies for the incontinence...” Hey, no prob! But no piggy-back rides for you... and don’t call me Mary!

  • From the Dept. of Acroterror: "Phapps (an acronym for phone applications) is both a new medium and a new creative message platform that turns the average mobile phone into an interactive informational, advertising or e-Commerce medium today..." So writes Fern Flamberg (or is that Phern Phlamberg?) from the Empty Blather Division of DeviceIQ. Thanks, Fern, but we'll stick with Phone Articulations for now.

  • More from the Eastern Front: “Sagem is a French high tech multinational with offices in over twenty countries and production facilities in Germany, Brazil, Spain, US and the Check Republic.” Rumor has it they’re looking to expand into the Credit Union and, perhaps, the Sultanate of Simoleons as well.

  • And finally, this memo from the folk at Evite. No, not that Argentine babe – Evite’s the electronic greeting card company, holidays their specialty. We reproduce it in full:

      Dear Evite Newsletter Subscriber,

      Yesterday we mailed a newsletter to our subscribers with incorrect dates for three important Holidays. Please accept our sincerest apologies for these errors and note the following corrections:

      Labor Day, September 1st
      Rosh Hashanah, September 27th
      Yom Kippur, October 6th

      In addition, we also wish to apologize for having listed Yom Kippur as one of our "Reasons To Party". We understand and respect that Yom Kippur is a Day of Atonement, a day to be taken seriously to reflect and fast, and as such, one of the most important Jewish Holidays in the year.

      Again we deeply apologize for the error and thank you for allowing us to make this correction.

      Very Best,
      The Evite Team
    Party on, penitents! And Christmas has been moved to the 11th this year! So Happy Halloween, my primate pals! And remember...

      whisk look out for the old woman
      with the wart on her nose
      what she'll do to yer
      nobody knows
    But it could be a hummer!

    — Larry, Monkey, Light Reading

    (0)  | 
    Comment  | 
    Print  | 
  • Newest First  |  Oldest First  |  Threaded View
    More Blogs from Column
    There is an impressive array of technology that is planned for the transition to 5G that will enable many new possible services.
    5G could shape up to be a stunningly expensive fiasco.
    The Swedish vendor has undergone a significant transformation during the past few years, adjusting to the demands of next-generation communications companies.
    Wi-Fi Alliance members have created Wi-Fi Aware technology to bring local experiences to life -- without requiring access to the Internet or GPS.
    Bamboozled by the flood of abbreviations and acronyms that SDN and NFV have inspired? Here's a guide to some of the key standards bodies whose initials you will need to know.
    Flash Poll
    From The Founder
    The Swedish vendor has undergone a significant transformation during the past few years, adjusting to the demands of next-generation communications companies.
    LRTV Documentaries
    The 3GPP's Road to 5G Standardization

    4|17|15   |   4:43   |   (0) comments


    Satoshi Nagata, chairman of the 3GPP's TSG-RAN group and a manager at NTT Docomo, explains the standardization process for 5G, as well as the biggest challenges and opportunities.
    LRTV Documentaries
    AlcaLu CTO Makes the Case for a New 5G Air Interface

    4|16|15   |   3:54   |   (0) comments


    Michael Peeters, CTO of wireless at Alcatel-Lucent, explains why 5G will require a new air interface to meet its diverse performance targets.
    LRTV Documentaries
    AlcaLu + Nokia: The New Uber-Vendor

    4|15|15   |   2:42   |   (4) comments


    Heavy Reading Senior Analyst Gabriel Brown discusses the technological and competitive opportunities and challenges if a merger between Alcatel-Lucent and Nokia comes to pass.
    LRTV Huawei Video Resource Center
    Huawei's Data Center Power Play

    4|15|15   |   6:22   |   (0) comments


    Huawei has developed industry-leading energy efficiency capabilities for its indoor and outdoor data center solutions, explains Dr. Fang Liangzhou, vice president of Huawei's Network Energy product Line.
    LRTV Huawei Video Resource Center
    Huawei’s Routers, Switches Get the Green Mark

    4|15|15   |   2:02   |   (0) comments


    TUV Rheinland's Frank Dudley explains how Huawei's routers and switches have been successfully tested by energy efficiency experts and have gained Green Mark Certification.
    LRTV Documentaries
    A Finn, a Frenchman & a Guy From New Jersey Walk Into a Merger...

    4|15|15   |   3:17   |   (0) comments


    Stop us if you've heard this one before... Light Reading CEO Founder & CEO Steve Saunders weighs in on the technical and cultural implications of a Nokia and Alcatel-Lucent merger.
    LRTV Huawei Video Resource Center
    Accounting for Better Solutions

    4|10|15   |   02:31   |   (1) comment


    Murad Yousuf, CTO at Saudi Arabia's Ministry of Finance (Dept. of Zakat & Income Tax), talks about the benefits of deploying router technology from Huawei.
    LRTV Huawei Video Resource Center
    What's in Store for Huawei & DataCore?

    4|10|15   |   05:44   |   (0) comments


    At the CeBIT trade show in Hannover, Germany, George Teixeira, CEO of software-defined storage (SDS) specialist DataCore Software, explains why he has just signed a partnership agreement with Huawei Technologies.
    LRTV Huawei Video Resource Center
    Du Puts Its Faith in Huawei's Routers

    4|9|15   |   3:42   |   (0) comments


    Adnan Masood, director of Enterprise MS Solutions Marketing at du, the United Arab Emirates (UAE) operator also known as Emirates Integrated Telecommunications Company, explains why his company chose to use Huawei's multifunctional AR routers as part of its managed enterprise services.
    LRTV Huawei Video Resource Center
    Huawei Gets Active in the Data Center

    4|9|15   |   3:17   |   (0) comments


    With enterprise users looking to maximize the use of their data center assets, Huawei’s Chief Architect & Technical Director of IT Data Center Solutions, Bruce Su, explains how the company's six-layer active-active data center solution is eradicating the need to deploy passive, redundant data center assets.
    LRTV Huawei Video Resource Center
    Blue Consult & Huawei for a Better Solution

    4|8|15   |   4:01   |   (0) comments


    Martin Rott, CEO, and Marc Metzler, head of sales virtualization, from Germany's Blue Consult discuss their collaboration with Huawei and TrendMicro to develop a secure, scalable IT platform that can meet the needs of the most demanding enterprise users.
    LRTV Huawei Video Resource Center
    Beach Petroleum on eLTE & Mining

    4|8|15   |   3:09   |   (0) comments


    Network systems integrator Jeremy Hamlyn explains how Huawei's secure packet-based trunking communications system, eLTE, can help remote communities and companies in the mining, oil and gas sectors, deploy efficient communications networks that are perfect for video and data as well as voice.
    Upcoming Live Events
    May 5, 2015, Hyatt McCormick Place, Chicago, IL
    May 6, 2015, Georgia World Congress, Atlanta, GA
    May 12, 2015, Grand Hyatt, Denver, CO
    May 13-14, 2015, The Westin Peachtree, Atlanta, GA
    June 8, 2015, Chicago, IL
    June 9-10, 2015, Chicago, IL
    June 9, 2015, Chicago, IL
    June 10, 2015, Chicago, IL
    September 29-30, 2015, The Westin Grand Müchen, Munich, Germany
    November 11-12, 2015, The Westin Peachtree Plaza, Atlanta, GA
    All Upcoming Live Events
    Infographics
    Network Instruments, a JDSU division, shares results from its 2015 State of the Network, a global survey on security.
    Hot Topics
    Verizon Scores New OTT Content Deals
    Mari Silbey, Independent Technology Editor, 4/16/2015
    Can WiFi Calling Find Its Voice?
    Iain Morris, News Editor, 4/13/2015
    Senator Proposes New 'Title X' for Net Neutrality
    Carol Wilson, Editor-at-large, 4/13/2015
    Nokia, Alcatel-Lucent in Merger Talks
    Iain Morris, News Editor, 4/14/2015
    Nokia & Alcatel-Lucent: What's Going On?
    Ray Le Maistre, Editor-in-chief, 4/15/2015
    Like Us on Facebook
    Twitter Feed
    Webinar Archive
    BETWEEN THE CEOs - Executive Interviews
    Data Center Interconnect, or DCI, is one of the hottest sectors in telecom currently. Since coming back to Light Reading last year, prodigal-son style, I've ...
    LR CEO and Founder Steve Saunders sits down with the head of Qosmos to talk about the changing state of the art in deep packet inspection technology, including its role in SDN and NFV architectures.
    Cats with Phones
    Steve's Phone Click Here
    Steve Saunders's personal phone.