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Wank Week Is Coming

3:15 PM -- Guardian Unlimited heralds another giant spurt forward for Western Civilization (as we know it):

    Channel 4 is to bring mass public masturbation to the small screen.

    [Finally!]

    The broadcaster - once led by Michael Grade, dubbed "pornographer in chief" by the Daily Mail - has commissioned a documentary about the UK's first "masturbate-a-thon" as part of a series of programmes dubbed "Wank week", MediaGuardian.co.uk can reveal...

    [We spare you the lubricious details of the "masturbate-a-thon." Suffice it to say, it's for charity, so all is well. Where can I get my ribbon?]

    "Following on from the success of 'Penis week', we feel this is exactly the type of provocative and mischievous programming that Channel 4 should be covering in the 11pm slot. Masturbation is something many people do but not many people talk about," Mr MacKenzie told MediaGuardian.co.uk.
Talk about your sticky wicket...

— Larry, One-Handed Attack Monkey, Light Reading

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