3:45 PM -- Reuters burnishes its reputation for having a wacky, yet deadpan, sense of humor with this exquisite gem:

Wal-Mart Stores Inc., under fire from a host of critics for its business practices, on Tuesday said it would open more than 50 stores in distressed areas and help small businesses around those locations thrive once the discounter moves in.

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

— Larry, Attack Monkey, Light Reading