Unstrung's Animal Crackers

The staff at Unstrung are -- on the whole -- animal lovers. Yet if 2003 has shown us anything, it's that the editors probably shouldn't be getting a new puppy for Christmas.

Consider the evidence:

  • First, Unstrung alumnus Ray Le Maistre's hamster snuffs it under suspicious circumstances (see Hamster Bites Man).

  • Then Dan Jones finds a deceased chicken in his backyard (see For Whom the Cock Croaks). The plot -- and indeed, the broth -- thickens...

  • And we never really apologized for the senseless slaughter of the English language we perpetrated with our parody of Aussie reptile freak Steve Irwin in the "Acronym Hunter" (see Meet the Acronym Hunter).

  • Still, although we proved that you can't really talk to the animals -- even with the wonders of Japanese technology (see Give a Dog a Fone)...

  • ...At least you can still catch a buzz off them! (see Sex and the Kitty).

    Happy Holidays, all!

    — The Staff, Unstrung

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