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Time for Padded Cells

NOON -- You can't really parody this stuff. Metro.co.uk reports on an effort underway in London to protect preoccupied multitaskers from themselves:

    Brick Lane has now become the first 'Safe Text' street in the UK, with rugby post-like cushioning put around the 10 of the road's higher-than-average number of lampposts.

    If the trial proves a success then other capital danger-zones, including Charing Cross Road, Old Bond Street, Oxford Street and Church Street, Stoke Newington, will also be set for some extra padding.

    According to a survey of 1055 Britons by text information service 118118, which is overseeing the pilot scheme alongside public space charity Living Streets, one in ten Britons has injured themselves while walking and texting in the last 12 months...

    "We've had one case of a fractured cheekbone when someone went straight into a lamppost and another of a fractured knee."
An example of how compassion may be misplaced. Clearly, the truly appropriate response here would be "HA-HA!"

Padded clothes would make better sense. As for me, I've taken to wearing full hockey regalia to protect myself from these self-absorbed morons. Nothing like a briskly applied body-check to put them right back in touch with their environment.

— Larry, Tough Love Monkey, Light Reading

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