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The LR Cosmos: Champions at Last

4:50 PM -- As the Light Reading Cosmos football (soccer) team contemplated its championship match earlier this month, beers were drunk, songs were sung, and some furniture was broken.

Then, the team had to put down their pint glasses and play ball.

And play they did, securing a narrow 3-2 victory over The West Side FC, in front of a crowd of several, to bring home the MetroSoccer NY League championship trophy. Please click on the photo below for the exciting victory slideshow:

The Champs The Cosmos, now improved with no active Light Reading employees, are to be congratulated on a well played game, as well as for being the only real outbound advertising that Light Reading has ever done.

After all the pints consumed that hot July evening, it was hard to overstate the seriousness of this huge franchise win for Light Reading.

"This trophy proves, categorically, that we are, without any question, the best over-30 men's team playing in a B division, seven-a-side soccer league, in a car park on the West Side Highway," said Light Reading founder and Cosmos goalie Steve Saunders. [Ed. note: Well, we assume he's the goalie. He does look like he's blocked a kick or two.]

Saunders continued, brandishing the trophy like a gold-plated, plastic scimitar: "No one can take that honor, nor this trophy, away from us. Well, until next season anyway."

The opposing team's captain, 12 year-old Alisha from Long Island, let out a whimper and sobbed a little when this reporter stepped forward to ask her for post-game comment.

"You're standing on my foot," she said.

Yes, and the Cosmos, as a team, are proudly stepping on the toes of all their doubters this day as the franchise basks in the glow of its finest moment in five years and 240 games, not that anyone's counting.

"I'm glad they won, and I think they should be proud of themselves," said a well-dressed man in the vicinity of New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg's office. "Now please stop following me and asking me questions. I'm not the mayor and I don't work at City Hall."

— Phil "Raoul" Harvey, Sports Desk, Light Reading

Gabriel Brown 12/5/2012 | 4:00:58 PM
re: The LR Cosmos: Champions at Last



Good bit of investigative journalism, Phil. Steve neglected to mention they played against 12 year-olds in his victory email.




Jonathan Keller 12/5/2012 | 4:00:57 PM
re: The LR Cosmos: Champions at Last

Nicely done Phil!  I am looking forward to open tryouts in 2010. 

DCITDave 12/5/2012 | 4:00:57 PM
re: The LR Cosmos: Champions at Last

Thanks, Gabe. To be fair, she was from LI and did have facial hair.

DCITDave 12/5/2012 | 4:00:57 PM
re: The LR Cosmos: Champions at Last

Don't you have, like, a wooden leg or something?

DCITDave 12/5/2012 | 4:00:56 PM
re: The LR Cosmos: Champions at Last

Excellent. Welcome to the team. Let's hollow it out a little so we can sneak beer over to the sidelines.

Jonathan Keller 12/5/2012 | 4:00:56 PM
re: The LR Cosmos: Champions at Last

Yep!  I unstrap it from my knee-nub and swing it like a bat.

kaps 12/5/2012 | 4:00:50 PM
re: The LR Cosmos: Champions at Last

I see no mention of R Scott "Own Goal" Raynovich... wasn't he middle striker or somesuch? Or was his departure a key "addition by subtraction" that got the Cosmos the title? Like the Bosox shedding Nomar?

kaps 12/5/2012 | 4:00:50 PM
re: The LR Cosmos: Champions at Last

I see no mention of R Scott "Own Goal" Raynovich... wasn't he middle striker or somesuch? Or was his departure a key "addition by subtraction" that got the Cosmos the title? Like the Bosox shedding Nomar?

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