& cplSiteName &

The Island of Dr Ivanov

Larry, Monkey
Monkey Bidness
Larry, Monkey

1:00 PM -- A weird one from The Scotsman, which you really must read in its entirety:

"THE Soviet dictator Josef Stalin ordered the creation of Planet of the Apes-style warriors by crossing humans with apes, according to recently uncovered secret documents."

I believe the program failed because the monkeys wouldn't cooperate.

— Larry, Attack Monkey, Light Reading

(1)  | 
Comment  | 
Print  | 
Newest First  |  Oldest First  |  Threaded View        ADD A COMMENT
12/5/2012 | 2:48:23 AM
re: The Island of Dr Ivanov
Stalin: ""I want a new invincible human being, insensitive to pain, resistant and indifferent about the quality of food they eat.""

What Stalin was after already exists: I know a bunch of guys that can withstand extreme heat and cold in system laboratories, sit through 12 painful web seminars yearly on ethics, survive on cafeteria and vending machine "food" and have ended nights of clubbin' at a bar with the women in your picture.

Come on, Larry- admit those primates in head scarves would look good to you after enough spiked banana juice.

Stalin's program failed because the apes were not given enough cash to pay for drinks at the bar.
More Blogs from Monkey Bidness
6:00 AM America's worst food begins a long, profitable march across Russia
4:00 PM Larry the Attack Monkey wishes you a carnage-free holiday season
5:15 PM Freedom from marketing abuse, that is
9:10 AM Step away from the stuffed animal...
9:45 AM The slop-bucket list
Featured Video
Upcoming Live Events
October 22, 2019, Los Angeles, CA
November 5, 2019, London, England
November 7, 2019, London, UK
November 14, 2019, Maritim Hotel, Berlin
December 3-5, 2019, Vienna, Austria
December 3, 2019, New York, New York
March 16-18, 2020, Embassy Suites, Denver, Colorado
May 18-20, 2020, Irving Convention Center, Dallas, TX
All Upcoming Live Events