The Idiot Box
5:15 PM -- Some British brainiac has concluded that watching TV actually does rot your brains... just like your mother said.
Most frightening, this prognosis holds even if you don't watch "Commander-in-Chief." If you do, you're a hair's breadth away from being declared totally brain dead.
According to Dr. Aric Sigman, an Associate Fellow of the British Psychological Society and a member of the Institute of Biology, watching "even a moderate amount" of the boob tube can:
OK, so I made that last one up. Wouldn't be surprised, though.
What's to be done? Try reading.
— Red "The slime oozin' out from your PC monitor" Panda, Light Reading
Most frightening, this prognosis holds even if you don't watch "Commander-in-Chief." If you do, you're a hair's breadth away from being declared totally brain dead.
According to Dr. Aric Sigman, an Associate Fellow of the British Psychological Society and a member of the Institute of Biology, watching "even a moderate amount" of the boob tube can:
- Damage brain-cell development and function in the neural circuits underlying attention and impulse control
- Impair the immune system, increasing vulnerability to cancer
- Increase appetite and body-fat production, leading to obesity
- Dramatically increase the risk of myopia, encourage anti-social behavior, and trigger premature puberty in children
- Disrupt sleep patterns, further impairing brain functions
- Significantly increase the risk of diabetes, Alzheimer's disease, and clinical depression
- Shrink your penis
OK, so I made that last one up. Wouldn't be surprised, though.
What's to be done? Try reading.
— Red "The slime oozin' out from your PC monitor" Panda, Light Reading
