x

The Idiot Box

5:15 PM -- Some British brainiac has concluded that watching TV actually does rot your brains... just like your mother said.

Most frightening, this prognosis holds even if you don't watch "Commander-in-Chief." If you do, you're a hair's breadth away from being declared totally brain dead.

According to Dr. Aric Sigman, an Associate Fellow of the British Psychological Society and a member of the Institute of Biology, watching "even a moderate amount" of the boob tube can:
  • Damage brain-cell development and function in the neural circuits underlying attention and impulse control
  • Impair the immune system, increasing vulnerability to cancer
  • Increase appetite and body-fat production, leading to obesity
  • Dramatically increase the risk of myopia, encourage anti-social behavior, and trigger premature puberty in children
  • Disrupt sleep patterns, further impairing brain functions
  • Significantly increase the risk of diabetes, Alzheimer's disease, and clinical depression
  • Shrink your penis


OK, so I made that last one up. Wouldn't be surprised, though.

What's to be done? Try reading.

— Red "The slime oozin' out from your PC monitor" Panda, Light Reading

Be the first to post a comment regarding this story.
HOME
Sign In
SEARCH
CLOSE
MORE
CLOSE