Supercilious Wagering

11:20 AM -- Had your fill of Super Mania? Bored by the endless Peyton v. Who Dat hooplah? Can't wait for Super Bowl MMCLXXIV to be over? The Daily Jolt brings us an assortment of so-called "prop bets" that will surely reawaken your constitutionally mandated enjoyment of our grandest national festival:

How long, you may have wondered, will it take Carrie Underwood to sing the "Star-Spangled Banner"? The over/under on that is 1 minute, 42 seconds. (Whitney Houston, you may recall, holds the record. Think it was something like 8 minutes, 42... Felt like it, anyway.)

How many times will CBS show Kim Kardashian on TV during the game? The over/under is 2.5. We're going over on that one.

You can also bet on whether Pete Townshend will smash a guitar (gosh, I hope he doesn't hurt himself!) and whether Kim Kardashian's measurements (34+26+39 = 99) will add up to more than Reggie Bush's total yards.

And: Who will the Super Bowl MVP thank first? God is the early favorite. I'd guess He's got to be a Saints fan. Yea, verily.

— Larry, Attack Monkey, Light Reading

Larry, Monkey 12/5/2012 | 4:43:08 PM
re: Supercilious Wagering

The Divine Miss U came in, by my count, at 1:47, beating the spread.

(It was her "FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEE" that killed the under.)

But Whitney's record is safe for another year.

Thought you'd want to know.

Menotomy 12/5/2012 | 4:43:07 PM
re: Supercilious Wagering

RB has only had more than 99 yards total (not including punt/kick returns) once this year, which was 108 against Arizona in the divisional round. He had 63 in the SB. Not quite a Ladainian Tomlinson performance, but he is married to Kim Kardashian. Or one of the Kardashians... The are married right? If it wasn't mentioned on E!'s The Soup, then I wouldn't know anything about it.

Sign In