11:00 AM --
Newsday passes along this helpful counter-terrorism heads-up from New York's Metropolitan Transportation Authority:
New York subway and bus riders are being told to look out for passengers with clenched fists, or who are sweating profusely, or reek of excessive cologne – all possible indicators of a suicide bomber.
Thanks so much, MTA! You've narrowed the list of suspects down to two thirds of my fellow rush-hour commuters!
Personally, I report anyone I see reading Harry Potter
— Larry, Attack Monkey, Light Reading
6:00 AM America's worst food begins a long, profitable march across Russia
4:00 PM Larry the Attack Monkey wishes you a carnage-free holiday season
5:15 PM Freedom from marketing abuse, that is
9:10 AM Step away from the stuffed animal...
9:45 AM The slop-bucket list
October 22, 2019, Los Angeles, CA
November 5, 2019, London, England
November 7, 2019, London, UK
November 14, 2019, Maritim Hotel, Berlin
December 3-5, 2019, Vienna, Austria
December 3, 2019, New York, New York
March 16-18, 2020, Embassy Suites, Denver, Colorado
All Upcoming Live Events
May 18-20, 2020, Irving Convention Center, Dallas, TX