NOON -- Let's get political.

Everyone knows the only real way to get a grassroots political movement going is to provide an easy-to-use form letter, so that even the dimmest guy in a pack of pants-pooping, functional illiterates can have some meaningful dialogue with his political representatives. [Insert your own Bush Administration joke here.]

Today, I humbly present a form letter that I think will give our Washington representatives serious pause when considering the plight of network neutrality. After that serious pause, they'll hit the delete key. But at least we can make them think:

Dear Senator [Surname] or Dear Representative [Surname] or Dear Current Resident:

Congress must preserve a free and open Internet. Please vote for enforceable network neutrality and keep tollbooths, gatekeepers, and discrimination off my Internet.

BUT… I realize that's a large and probably insurmountable task, what with all the summer activities and the NBA playoffs going on.

That's why I am asking you to just save one important piece of the Internet for right now: Phil Harvey's blog, The Philter©.

As a supporter of Net Neutrality, I'm terrified that corporate control of the Web will reduce my choices, and stifle the spread of innovative and independent ideas that we've come to expect online. I know the entire Internet is in danger -- I'd rather focus on saving just one bit of it right now.

You know, baby steps. Walk before you run. That kind of thing.

If we can save The Philter© from being unfairly blocked by the nation's largest phone companies, then there is hope we'll be able to someday ensure that all IP communications will be nothing more than one big, crappy, "best effort" free-for-all.

So please pass a law requiring that Phil Harvey's The Philter© be allowed to meander drunkenly around telco access networks. Please take care to prevent anyone from tampering with the speed at which this great American blog-sort-of-thing reaches its highly literate, desperately bored audience.

With one law protecting one blog, we'll have something substantial to fall back on when we're trying to get Network Neutrality as an issue, despite the fact that most of our 1,500 blogger/proponents can't even define it. I'm mean, we're desperate here. We've got Alyssa Milano blogging for us, and we're still getting creamed every time a vote comes up. Throw us a bone.

One law. One blog. Think about it.

Thank you.

Kindest regards,
[Your name]

Please remember to really put your name in the spot where it says, "Your Name." Unless your name is "Your Name," in which case you can just leave it as is. I mean, after seeing there really is a guy named D'Brickashaw Ferguson in the NFL draft this weekend, I'm willing to believe just about anything.

Happy letter writing!

— Phil Harvey, Internet Savior, Light Reading