12:25 PM -- A man in Port St. Lucie, Fla., has been arrested for assault with a delicious weapon, The Associated Press reports:
A man faces a domestic battery charge after allegedly hitting his girlfriend with a sandwich as she was driving on Interstate 95 on Friday. Police said the 19-year-old man became angry and hit the woman in the arm and face with a sandwich, knocking her glasses off.
Unfortunately it's unclear whether the sandwich has been taken into custody yet, and even worse:
Police haven't said what type of sandwich was involved.
What? How will we know whether we're supposed to look out for a foot-long meatball sub or a club on wheat? I think it's fair to say that one is definitely more dangerous.
— Red Panda, Light Reading