1. I'm a jerk.
2. The poor chap who sent the pitch was only trying to be creative. He shouldn't be criticized for that.
3. Maybe his client told him to write the pitch that way. What else was he to do?
4. It was a funny pitch. And there was nothing at all wrong with it.
5. Boy, am I ever a jerk.
6. What the hell do you want from a PR pitch anyway?

1. I know.
2. Was he being creative or was he just writing something he could carbon copy to a dozen different publications without having to give any thought to the needs of each pub's audience?
3. Maybe they did. And maybe they're thrilled to see it in print. Let's hope so.
4. You could be right. It was unique. And it did get my attention. Is that what they wanted?
5. Yes, we've established that.
6. Exclusivity. What information or access can you offer my readers that they can't get anywhere else on Earth but through my publication?