Poor Things

10:35 AM -- The New York Times, in its well worn role as the Nation's Conscience, has bared the true, tragic heart of the current financial crisis. You thought you had it bad? Pause to consider "Dating a Banker Anonymous":

...a support group founded in November to help women cope with the inevitable relationship fallout from, say, the collapse of Lehman Brothers or the Dow’s shedding 777 points in a single day, as it did on Sept. 29.

In addition to meeting once or twice weekly for brunch or drinks at a bar or restaurant, the group has a blog, billed as “free from the scrutiny of feminists,” that invites women to join “if your monthly Bergdorf’s allowance has been halved and bottle service has all but disappeared from your life.”

Where can I sign up?

Theirs is not the typical 12-step program.

Step 1: Slip into a dress and heels. Step 2: Sip a cocktail and wait your turn to talk. Step 3: Pour your heart out. Repeat as needed.

That's as high as they could count.

It's all "very tongue in cheek," they say, but consider this sad tail:

Dawn Spinner Davis, 26, a beauty writer, said the downward-trending graphs began to make sense when the man she married on Nov. 1, a 28-year-old private wealth manager, stopped playing golf, once his passion. “One of his best friends told me that my job is now to keep him calm and keep him from dying at the age of 35,” Ms. Davis said. “It’s not what I signed up for.”

Truly harrowing. He's lost the joy of golf? Let him die, Beauty Writer, it'll be a mercy. Get those nails done.

— Larry, Attack Monkey, Light Reading