Pick Your 'Movers & Shakers'

Pssst! Hey, you! Wanna have some influence on the most coveted Top Ten list in the entire known (telecom) universe?

If you answered, "Oh YESSSS! Yes! Yes I do!" then have a look around, because all your office mates are probably staring at you right now, wondering if you've begun shampooing with Clairol Herbal Essence shampoos and will soon start writhing about and shrieking affirmations as you enjoy a "totally organic experience."

Embarrassed? Don’t be.

This is a highly prestigious list, and any involvement with it whatsoever is worth any face you'll lose in the eyes of your sniveling coworkers by talking to your computer screen. That's right, my pet, this is the Top Ten Movers and Shakers in Telecom (formerly the Top Ten Movers and Shakers in Optical Networking, even more formerly the Top Ten Movers and Shakers in Coal Mining, and, yes, even more formerly the Top Ten Movers and Shakers in Hitting Rocks With Sticks).

Let's face it, our previous Movers & Shakers lists are terribly outdated. See? They list such has-beens as Gary Winnick, David Huber, Matt Bross, Dan Smith, Silent Movie Star Maria Corda, and Babylonian King Nebuchadnezzar. In other words, Top 10 lists are snapshots of time, not unlike jokes about the Iran-Contra scandal and President Reagan's alleged senility (his favorite pick-up line: "Do I come here often?").

Here's how you can help: Think of someone who truly has power in the telecom industry. Someone who calls the shots. Someone whose style is impetuous, whose defence is impregnable. Someone who is just ferocious. They want your heart. They want to eat your children. We'll add bonus points if they have a prison record, a tattoo on their face, and they speak with a lisp.

Got someone in mind? Good. Send that person's name, title, and affiliation (and a reason why they deserve a spot on the list), to us at this address: [email protected], and we'll consider adding her and/or him to our list of finalists, which is up at the pub, stapled to the back of a dartboard. We'll go look for it at 6:30 p.m. each night. It might take us a few hours. Don't wait up.

Anyway, the point is we'd like your help creating our highly esteemed (and highly subjective) list. Reputations will be made and destroyed with this list, so make your voice heard soon and often. Self-nominations are welcome and will be given special consideration if one's accomplishments are hilariously exaggerated for entertainment purposes. Bribes are welcome, too.

We look forward to hearing from you.

— Phil Harvey, Senior Editor, Light Reading

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cyber_techy 12/5/2012 | 12:06:41 AM
re: Pick Your 'Movers & Shakers' Name: BobbyMax
Title: Chief Scientist
Company: Procket Networks
dodo 12/5/2012 | 12:06:39 AM
re: Pick Your 'Movers & Shakers' W Buffet for rescuing Level 3:-)
CogswellCogs 12/5/2012 | 12:06:38 AM
re: Pick Your 'Movers & Shakers' Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

That must be a new high! Making fun of a former president of the United States!!

Hee hee hee hee hee hee hee!

For having Alzheimer's disease!

Oh man, stop it! I'm laughing so hard I'm gonna pee my pants!

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

Disgusting, but not really surprising.

wass 12/5/2012 | 12:06:38 AM
re: Pick Your 'Movers & Shakers' Here is today's top 10 movers and shakers:

1. Anybody who is not a Venture Capitalist
2. Anybody that did NOT commit either crimes or unethical acts to obtain wealth or top positions at companies
3. Anybody out there trying to help others get jobs that need them
4. Anybody who is not a Venture Capitalist
5. Anybody still employed in Telecom
6. Anybody but the people listed in previous Movers and Shakers lists
7. Anybody with guts enough to invest in companies during a downturn.
8. Anybody with more important things to do than to post on LightReading
9. Any CEO or management person that turned down their multi-million dollar bonus when they layed off people in their companies
10. Anybody who is not a Venture Capitalist
diag_eng 12/5/2012 | 12:06:37 AM
re: Pick Your 'Movers & Shakers' Phil,

Your comment about Ronald Reagan was both witless and disgusting. He's an easy target.

I sure hope your words never come back to haunt you or someone in your family.

opticalweenie 12/5/2012 | 12:06:33 AM
re: Pick Your 'Movers & Shakers' As per Gea,
All our base are with Booby.

DCITDave 12/5/2012 | 12:06:32 AM
re: Pick Your 'Movers & Shakers' It was an 80s reference, you chimp. The whole sentence read: "In other words, Top 10 lists are snapshots of time, not unlike jokes about..." Am I the only one who ribbed the President for his Iran-Contra dealings?
crapshooter 12/5/2012 | 12:06:31 AM
re: Pick Your 'Movers & Shakers' I humbaly accept my nomnation for Movers & Shakers. Even though most of you are evil desiples of the evil "Dr" bush and the Indian VC's and tell lies taht are not true I accept my nominatoin. If I become a Movers & Shakers, I will continue to post imporatnt informations for the entire worlds to read on the lighjt reading. I am pround to be nopminated unlike the evil "Dr" gea who has not been nominated to be a Movers & Shakers because he does evil things that are not nice things.

readinglights 12/5/2012 | 12:06:30 AM
re: Pick Your 'Movers & Shakers' Moved out of business or in the business but shaking?
gea 12/5/2012 | 12:06:29 AM
re: Pick Your 'Movers & Shakers' It is suprising that Movers and Shakers would accept nominations at this time, as their technology is still unproven. Indeed, it is unclear if there would be a market for this product at any time in the future.

As for "Dr" Crapshooter, you continue to post lies of rage and hate that are untrue and hateful lies, and perform economic violence to all the worlds people. Please go to a probation where you will be corrected.
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