Panda Strikes Again

NOON -- Yahoo News reports on yet another tragic encounter between a panda and a human being -- this time, leaving her feeling like less of a person:

    A panda cub bit off part of the thumb of an American visitor who was feeding it at a reserve in southwest China, state media said Thursday.


    "When she cried out, the cub became excited and gripped more tightly," it said. "Lisa finally managed to wrench herself free."

    About 20 percent of the thumb had been bitten off, Xinhua said.

We gotta believe the little, herbivorous furball spat it out. Tastes like chicken, after all, not bamboo.

— Red, Not Black-and-White, Panda, Light Reading

"Ill" Duce 12/5/2012 | 3:37:02 AM
re: Panda Strikes Again What an idiot! I blame the WWF (not the wrestlers) for making the Panda seem so cute and cuddly. IT'S A BEAR for God's sake. Sure the Koala is a bear in name only, but Koalas don't eat people except in low-budget Australian horror movies. Would you hug a baby Grizzly? Polar bears look cute in the Coke commercials, but they can eat a man in two bites (hyperbole alert) and Hippos are sure a lot fun when they are dancing in tutus and wearing the lipstick, but they can crush a man in their jaws like a man eating a pretzel.

Last month a drunken guy wandered into a pen to give a Panda a hug and was attacked. He said they seemed so cute on the television. The best part is that he bit the Panda. Now that's some cajones and a great story for the local Chinese TV/propaganda disseminator.

I feel like I'm taking crazy pills. I think humnas are actually becoming dumber.

I don't believe in evolution because the planet is still littered with idiots.

CoolLightGeek 12/5/2012 | 3:37:01 AM
re: Panda Strikes Again Duce: "I don't believe in evolution because the planet is still littered with idiots."

Evolution only gets rid of a good percentage of idiots during periods of high environmental stress.
(I'm not about the 2% less habital by global warming: I'm talking about the 80-95% loss of biomass of the next real ice age).

While not under stress, random DNA combinations in mammals proliferate greater than 9 times (made up statistic alert) more evolution failures for every more survivable success it comes up with. (Typical ratio of offspring to wise adult in a reasonably stressed mammal environment). In other words, while the planet is not under stress, idiots will abound.

To a lesser extent, major wars and famines tend to cause only the lucky and the most resourceful refugees/combatants to survive.

BTW, in New Hampshire, they don't have mandatory helmet laws for motorcycling as a means to control the idiot population.

Andra-Lavinia 12/5/2012 | 3:36:58 AM
re: Panda Strikes Again Reasons for Striking
Lite Rock 12/5/2012 | 3:36:56 AM
re: Panda Strikes Again Gosh CLGFR, Texas does not require a helmet either, exept for minors. I guess they want to encourage them to not be idiots, atleast until they can vote.

Ah yes Natural Selection, I prefer to think of it as Organic Population Control.

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