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Mr. Roid Goes to Washington

4:30 PM -- Broken Breaking news from The New York Times:

    A ranking member of the House Committee on Oversight and Government Reform has sent a letter to Alex Rodriguez asking him to meet with committee staff members to talk about the use of performance-enhancing drugs in baseball.

    Representative Elijah E. Cummings, Democrat of Maryland, said he sent the letter to Rodriguez this week...
Here's a letter to Representative Elijah E. Cummings (I know he's a reader):

Dear Representative Elijah E. Cummings,

You may have noticed that this country is in the midst of its worst economic crisis in 70 years.

We're in the midst of two (2) foreign wars, the prospects for which are less than clear.

And worse, Mickey Rourke has been nominated for an Oscar.

We don't need to see Congress, or any Congressional committee, or any upaid interns on a sub-committee working group spend ONE FRIGGING MINUTE on the matter of A-Rod's pharmaceutical proclivities.

Please stop grabbing for headlines, Representative Elijah E. Cummings, get back to your goddam job, and shut the hell up about inconsequential folderol.

But do look into that Mickey Rourke thing, would you?

Yer pal,

— Larry, Attack Monkey, Light Reading

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