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Monkey Greatness

2:25 PM -- In the wake of the latest monkey making a fool of his captors story, David Letterman offered up his Top Ten Signs Your Monkey Is A Genius, which we reproduce here for your enjoyment:

    10) Scored a 1600 on monkey SATs
    9)  Bought shares of Chiquita when they were under $2.00
    8)  Speaks both Chimp and Swedish
    7)  Scaled the Empire State Building just to admire the architecture
    6)  Became one of them NASA monkeys so they'd get free booze
    5)  Some monkeys make movies with Clint Eastwood; he once starred with Sir John Gielgud
    4)  Defeated baboon and lemur on "Jeopardy's" Primate Week
    3)  Only animal in the zoo with a 401k plan
    2)  Learned to mute the television when "The View" comes on
    1)  Got himself elected governor of California
If I may add an eleventh reason: Got himself a cushy, do-nothing gig with a leading Internet trade publication.

— Larry, Swedish-Speaking Monkey, Light Reading

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