Smart Apple watchers know the best place to follow one of the company's big launch events is on Twitter, where Apple's wittiest fans make wisecracks about what their favorite company is up to.
Here are 12 tweets that had me snickering late Wednesday morning (including one from our own Mari Silbey).
Before the start:
Hungover Tim Cook frantically Sharpie-ing an "S" on an iPhone 6 right now.— Chase Mitchell (@ChaseMit) September 9, 2015
Near the beginning of the event, Apple demoed new accessories for the Apple Watch:
I'm sorry, but I didn't tune in to hear about the fall fashion line-up of Apple watch bands.— Mari Silbey (@msilbey) September 9, 2015
The new Apple TV features online shopping. Apple highlighted its partnership with online retailer Gilt:
“Apple customers *love* guilt… We’re so excited to bring guilt to your living room on the Apple TV.” Truth bombs being dropped here.— Waldo Jaquith (@waldojaquith) September 9, 2015
Many of the executives on stage had their shirts untucked, which was a source of amusement to people following along on Twitter and not even wearing pants.
Men who can’t be bothered to put on a necktie or button their cuffs onstage demonstrating how to shop for formal wear you’ll never fit in— Pinboard (@Pinboard) September 9, 2015
But Craig Federighi, Apple senior VP software engineering, added a touch of class:
"Now, just LOOK at that nice boy, Craig Federighi. HE knows how to dress like a gentleman." —Everybody's Mom.— Merlin Mann (@hotdogsladies) September 9, 2015
Unimpressed by game demo:
The miracle of Apple TV will let us play a game that is much like Frogger, except with different animals. pic.twitter.com/ueExlXePyw— Harry McCracken (@harrymccracken) September 9, 2015
Yes that would be embarrassing:
It would be embarrassing if in the demo emails in the Apple Event there was one from Ashley Madison.— Ben Greenman (@bengreenman) September 9, 2015
Apple’s obsession with heart rate is getting creepy. “I can monitor mother's and baby's heartrate from my watch” You don’t even know them!— Pinboard (@Pinboard) September 9, 2015
Apple introduced a stylus, which it pretentiously called the Pencil, for its new iPad Pro. It even looks like a pencil.
Before you mock the Apple Pencil, bear in mind it was humanely harvested from genetically modified pygmy unicorns.— David Lubar (@davidlubar) September 9, 2015
With Pro Create (really) you can write out documents longhand in Microsoft word with a $400 pencil. Executive suite targeting at its best— Pinboard (@Pinboard) September 9, 2015
The pencil is only $99. But still.
This is pretty much true of any vendor announcement -- not just Apple:
Nobody is allowed onstage without saying that they are excited. If you don't say “excited,” a trapdoor opens and swallows you. #AppleEvent— Michael Markman (@Mickeleh) September 9, 2015
And so is this -- speaking from experience:
Several reports from the Apple event indicate journalists need to pee right now.— Glenn Fleishman (@GlennF) September 9, 2015
Now that you're done mocking Apple, wipe the tears of laughter from your eyes and find out what Apple announced that's relevant to service providers. See: Apple Brings tvOS to Apple TV and Apple iPhones Add More LTE & Ways to Pay.
And don't miss our haiku: Apple Pencil Misses Point.