Mobile Hairpiece

6:00 PM -- Are you folically challenged? Ashamed of your abject lack of flowing locks?

Well, never fear, a press release I received this morning could be just the, er, tonic you need. Apparently MobVision -- whoever they may be -- are launching "dsmobile.net -- the world's first hairloss magazine on a mobile phone."

Yes, you read that right.

Apparently, MobVision was so concerned about the plight of balding men -- and women -- trying to find out about what to do about hairloss while keeping it a secret, that they have teamed up with "world-renowned trichologist David Satchell of Eucaderm" to launch "Natural Solutions to Hairloss" as a mobile magazine. So now you can read about "hairloss solutions" discreetly on your cellphone.

Bwah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

Evidently the magazine doesn't just repeatedly send out the message: "There's nothing you can do about it, why not get on with your miserable existence?" Nope, each month the mobile hairpiece sends out advice that readers can "apply immediately to greatly improve the health of hair and scalp."

There's no word yet on whether the follow-up mobile mag will try and help readers ease the pain of eyestrain.

— Dan Jones, Hairless Trichology Editor, Unstrung

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