Kid Knows How to Party

1:00 PM -- A Texas 13-year-old was convicted of fraud and given a three-year community order last week just for trying to have a good time, Money.co.uk reports:
    Ralph Hardy, a 13 year old from Newark, Texas confessed to ordering an extra credit card from his father's existing credit card company, and took his friends on a $30,000 spending spree, culminating in playing "Halo" on an Xbox with a couple of hookers in a Texas motel.

    Police said they were alerted to the motel by a concerned delivery clerk
    [read: party pooper], whom after delivering supplies of Dr Pepper, Fritos and Oreos had been asked by the kids where they could score some chicks and were willing to pay. They explained they had just made a big score at a "World of Warcraft" tournament and wanted to get some relaxation.

Obviously a guy needs to unwind after taking on some orcs.
    Asked why he ordered two escorts, Ralph said he thought it was the thing to do when you win a "World of Warcraft" tournament.

It is the only thing that can match the rush of being in Kalimdor on the beautiful planet Azeroth after using your paladin powers to strike down the mage and defeat the horde... So I've heard.

    They told the suspicious working girls they were people of restricted growth working with a traveling circus, and as State law does not allow those with disabilities to be discriminated against they had no right to refuse them.

Because hookers are nothing if not strict adherents to the law.

    The $1,000 a night girls sensing something up played "Halo" on the Xbox with the kids, instead of selling their sexual services.

And of course:

    Ralph's ambition is to one day become a politician.

Good luck with that, Ralph. You’ve got a bright future ahead of you.

— Red Panda, Light Reading

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