Kafka on the Roof

11:45 AM -- Reuters reports on an old geezer who glued himself to his roof:

    A 91-year-old German sparked a rescue operation when he slipped mending his roof and got stuck fast in tar "like a beetle on its back", police said on Tuesday.

    Passers-by were so shocked to see the elderly handyman working on the roof they first thought he was planning to commit suicide, according to police in the eastern city of Magdeburg.

Who would commit suicide at 91, anyway? Why not just wait the extra 10 minutes?

Moving on:
    Local firemen carefully detached the man using ropes and ladders. He was unharmed, but had sticky clothes, police said.

Ropes and ladders? Hardly necessary... A spatula would surely have done the trick.

As of press time, the recovery progress of the "sticky clothes" remained uncertain.

— Red "Gregor" Panda, Light Reading

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