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Job Applicant Etiquette

2:00 PM -- Boy, this Internet thingy sure is a great communications tool. Uh, sometimes.

But believe it or not, there are times when cutting-edge, next-generation communications technology may not be your best option. Such as when you're asking someone for a job.

To wit: Red Panda recently received an email from a journalist seeking gainful employment at Light Reading. Ever on the lookout for fresh blood, we suggested he call us, which he did... using Skype.

The result was two minutes of shouted unintelligibility, along these lines:

Red Panda: Hullo?

Job Applicant: [skkkkrreeecckk]

RP: Yes... wha?

JA: I'm [psshhhh] communications professional [breeet] seeking [bwaaaaang]

RP: Who is this??

JA: [...]

RP: Say what?

JA: [trrreeeeet] it's me [rrrghhh] bobbysocks

RP: It's "me" what? Eh?

JA: [zap! pow! kaboom!]

RP: Batman!? Look, why don't you just call back?

JA: No.

RP: Are you kidding?!?

JA: [sssshhhh] email you [bork] number, and you [ucka ucka ucka] call me.


At this point, the chances of this guy getting a job were vanishingly small, but we were morbidly fascinated by this train wreck of a job interview. So we called the number he emailed us, and he picked up... on an IP cell phone.

There followed a repeat of: "Hullo? Yes... wha? Who is this?? Say what? It's 'me' what?" and so forth.

Three strikes, buddy, and you're out... of work!

— Red Panda, Phoning It In, Light Reading

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