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Jeez, Some Friend

6:10 PM -- Boy, what can you say about this one?

Here's the link, but Red Panda thinks it's worth quoting at length anyway:

    BRENTWOOD, N.H. -- Emergency workers helped a New Hampshire man out of a difficult situation over the weekend after a friend apparently locked a padlock around his testicles.

    According to the Portsmouth Herald, police reported that the 39-year-old man was intoxicated when they arrived at the scene on July 30 at about 3:40 a.m. The man, who was not identified, told them that he had the padlock around his testicles for two weeks.

    The man said that a friend put the lock on while he was drunk and passed out. When he woke up, the friend was gone.

    "Never in my 13 years have I seen anything like this," Cpl. H.D. Wood told the Herald.

    The man told police that he tried to remove the lock with a hacksaw because the key had broken off in the lock.


Okay, now go back and read the second paragraph again: "he had the padlock around his testicles for two weeks." Did he have to buy a new wardrobe?

— Puzzled Panda, Light Reading
alchemy 12/5/2012 | 3:06:20 AM
re: Jeez, Some Friend Okay, now go back and read the second paragraph again: "he had the padlock around his testicles for two weeks." Did he have to buy a new wardrobe?

Nope. He put on his speedo and went to Hampton Beach (Honkey-Tonk and filled with Bikers and 300 pound French Canadians in speedos). All the Canadians thought he was a real stud.

Mike Barnacle once wrote an editorial in the Boston Globe where he described New Hampshire as "Arkansas with snow". Maybe he had a point.
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