Ill Luminous

7:00 AM -- Here's what Luminous employees got on December 26.

Dear [Name Withheld],
Due to recent business conditions, Luminous has been left in the unfortunate position of having to eliminate your position. Consequently, we regret that your employment is terminated immediately.

Your final paycheck includes all wages earned through your final day of work and any unused Personal Time-Off, which you have accrued. Your coverage under Luminous'standard employee medical benefits plans will end December 31, 2005. Due to the termination of the company's benefit plans, there will be no option to elect COBRA under federal law. These plans include health insurance, dental insurance, vision insurance, health/dependent care reimbursement accounts, and life/AD&D/disability.

Unfortunately, the current business climate requires that this workforce reduction be made without any right of recall. Employees affected by this reduction in force are entitled to no benefits other than those expressly described in this letter. Luminous regrets that its relationship with you must come to an end; however, we want to thank you for all your dedication. We are confident that you will attain success elsewhere, and we wish you the best of luck in all your future endeavors.

Christopher Stark
President and CEO

Can you believe some parent called their kid "Name Withheld"?

— Phil Harvey, Heave-Ho-Ho-Ho Memos Editor, Light Reading

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