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Hotel Hell

Phil Harvey

5:40 PM -- I have a suggestion to improve Las Vegas: Tear down the Excalibur Hotel and Casino.

I stayed there for The Cable Show, and, though I'm trying, I can't think of a thing to make me want to go there again. The Excalibur's most redeeming feature is that it's just a short tram ride or walk from the Mandalay Bay.

The room was a disaster, though it did offer an incomparable level of privacy -- I had a lovely view of a giant yellow brick wall, just a few feet from the only window.

How discouraging is it to know that if you decided to end it all by hopping out your 6th floor window, you might actually get stuck between buildings and die of embarrassment instead?

The TV had a vertical hold problem, similar to the one I had after an evening of boozing and carousing with vendors and coworkers.

But I digress.

My hotel room's bathroom fan was definitely something of note. It was old and, judging by the sound, dying before my very eyes. Listen.

When I first flipped on the bathroom fan switch, it literally coughed. Then, I swear, it started pumping in air from other decades. I shut it off before the smell of Kents and Brylcreem chased me down the hall.

That's the Excalibur, in a nutshell. The whole medieval theme was probably a good idea at one time, but now it's too weird and silly, even for Las Vegas.

— Phil Harvey, Travel Editor, Light Reading

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12/5/2012 | 3:08:46 PM
re: Hotel Hell

Just FYI, your fan was channeling a local McDonalds - slow it down 31.4159% and play it backwards. You will hear:

"Ding, Fries are Done!"

Quite clearly.

Scott Raynovich
Scott Raynovich
12/5/2012 | 3:08:46 PM
re: Hotel Hell
Tee-hee... Phil, I'd of expected better.. aren't you a Vegas vet by now?
12/5/2012 | 3:08:46 PM
re: Hotel Hell
I am. But I was suckered by a low price and great location.

Never again. I'd rather commute from LA if Vegas is full.

12/5/2012 | 3:08:45 PM
re: Hotel Hell
The Excalibur is possibly the worst hotel in Vegas. I got stuck there when an employer promised me the Mandalay Bay and then pulled a switcheroo at the last minute.

The rooms smell like a mixture of cigarette smoke and dirty socks (probably because the fans don't work). I had the added pleasure of some drug dealer or low-level thug pounding on the door of the next room at 3 a.m. trying to get Johnny to give him his cash.
Jeff Baumgartner
Jeff Baumgartner
12/5/2012 | 3:08:45 PM
re: Hotel Hell
Vegas's old goofy hotel theme is dying a deserved death. Even the Aladdin has changed its stripes to Planet Hollywood, where I stayed, thank the maker. And Treasure Island has pretty much rebranded itself "ti" -- with pretty glitter. But I'm not sure what what the net gain they are getting on the hip meter by changing their name to a silicon vendor.
12/5/2012 | 3:08:43 PM
re: Hotel Hell

Ever think to ask yourself WHY it had a low price? :)

Also, instead of commuting from LA if the rooms are full, why not just try staying up all night and checking your bags at the bell stand? Who sleeps in Vegas anyway?

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