Headgear for Felons

12:20 PM -- The Daily Telegraph reports on a new facial ornament that is sure to keep jail houses safer:

    QUEENSLAND criminals known to be habitual spitters will be made to wear special headgear to prevent them spitting on police.

But it's not like orthodontic headgear. That headgear makes you a habitual drooler. It makes you drool and then people throw rocks at you on the school yard. Anyway, enough about me...

    Police Minister Judy Spence said a successful 10-week trial ran in 11 police cells last year of the single-use, disposable spit nets which were similar to the garb worn by bee keepers.

Single-use and disposable? So by inhibiting a criminal's desire to spit, we are destroying the environment some more! Shame, shame...

    "Under the guidelines of the trial, the spit nets will only be used on offenders who spit at police or have a history of spitting at police," Ms Spence told state parliament.

What about those who have a history of drooling while tending to bees?

— Red Panda, Spits at Crossing Guards, Light Reading

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