Hamster Bites Man
Stripes, a treasured family pet, was a mere two years old when he passed on to the great hamster wheel in the sky late on Friday afternoon.
Stripes! We hardly knew ye!
As many readers will know, these lovable and playful rodents, can live for up to three years -- when not woefully neglected by their owners.
Le Maistre, former European editor for Unstrung, who now writes for our infinitely duller sister publication, Boardwatch, is clearly devastated by his loss.
"The little bastard used to bite me all the time," he tells Unstrung. However, he strenuously denies suggestions that he had a hand in the creature's tragic and untimely demise.
Stripes was buried in Le Maistre's backyard in a small, family ceremony on Friday.
LeMaistre's children have already petitioned him for a pet upgrade to a "bunny rabbit," he reports.
No information was available on the size of the deal, er, rabbit, er... We're going to the pub...
— Dan Jones, Senior Editor, Unstrung