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Hack Hack Pyow Hack!

NOON -- The Discovery Channel reports that scientists have determined that monkeys have syntax, viz., they "can combine individual calls to express different meanings."

Clever monkeys! Sadly, the primates under study -- putty-nosed monkeys, the Steve Buscemis of the jungle -- seem to use their "hacks" and "pyows" exclusively to say "I'm running away now!" or "I'm hiding now!" Clearly, not Attack Monkeys.

Next question up for study: How's their typing?

— Larry, Attack Monkey, Light Reading

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