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Gate-Watch

2:45 PM -- Speculation continues to swirl about what cards "Prosecutin' Pat" Fitzgerald is holding, and in the continued absence of juicy leaks, just about anything can be seized on as news. Such as the fact that Fitzgerald has set up his own Webpage, which some see as a sign that he doesn't simply plan to pack up his Barbies and go home.

The latest mouth-watering rumors have Dick "Go F*** Yourself" Cheney, whose staff appears ever more central to the investigation, taking a big hit.

But since no one really cares about a scandal unless it's been properly branded, it's critical to keep the truly important question in mind: Which retarded "-gate" moniker will win out in the end?

The current frontrunner seems to be Plamegate, but other popular options, spotlighting the putative culprits instead of the victim, include Scootergate and its corollary, Rovegate.

Moving up the White House food chain, might it yet turn out to be Cheneygate? Or maybe, per the recently newsworthy Lawrence Wilkerson, Cabalgate?

To focus on proximate causes, we might call it Nigergate... or turning to end causes, Iraqgate. Acronyms have been awkwardly 'gated, as in WMDgate and CIAgate. Or are those reporters all to blame, hence Novakgate or Millergate?

Maybe this will end up as the Mother of All Gates (MOAG)? Or just Gategate, the gate to end all gates?

Hey, a panda can dream.

— Red Panda, Gatekeeper, Light Reading

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